Bachelorette Page #2

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Yeah?

It's very interesting.

All right.

I-I personally think

that blowj*bs are

an extremely delicate thing.

You know, like if you're..

if you're ranking them

on a scale of 1 to 10,

and 10 being I'm, you know,

choking on just semen,

vomit just everywhere.

I think you gotta start

off with 4s and with 5s.

Like just enough so the...

so that you know that

I know exactly what I'm doing,

but with zero enthusiasm.

I'm giving you nothing,

because then you're

gonna be like

all right, fine. I'll

just f*** her, you know?

'Cause if I start off with

a 10, I got nowhere to go.

I mean, why are you gonna

spend any time f***ing me?

You just came all over my face.

So you start off small, right?

But you build.

I'll give you a 6

after a fight, when

we're making up.

And then an 8

when you spend a

shitload of money on me,

or get me something

that's like a sweet...

gift or whatever,

I'll do full 8.

But then, I circle it back.

Back to the 3s, the 4s, and

the 5s, because that sh*t,

every time, without fail,

makes the guy's

dick alarm go off.

You know what I mean

when I say dick alarm.

Right?

And you're gonna be like,

"Hey, baby.

What's wrong with you?

You're acting funny.

Why so sad?"

When really what you're

telling me is, "God dammit,

just like suck my dick harder."

So... um... let's just

say um, like, what...

what would merit a 10?

What's an example?

I don't know,

you're like on a...

on an airplane, you're going

to a wedding of this girl

that you went to

high school with.

Uh, two more?

Sure.

And your ex-boyfriend uh...

Your ex-boyfriend who

ruined your f***ing life

is gonna be there.

That jerk.

All this pent-up frustration,

sitting next to some dude

you're never gonna see again.

That would warrant a 10.

Well... How about this guy?

Oh, no. I feel like I'll

definitely see you again.

Oh, my goodness.

Bee!

Look at her!

Bee-Face.

Aw, Bees!

We're together again!

Everything's okay, you guys.

All right.

How are we gonna get through

the next twelve hours?

Gena brought cocaine!

Oh, my god.

Let's use our indoor voices, about it...

you know...

Here's the deal, though.

We need to do some before

the bachelorette party.

Uh, it's not that

kind of a party.

Hear me out.

We don't want to share our

coke with rando bridesmaids.

It's for us.

It's true.

Bee-yatch-faces!

Ah-hah!

Woo!

I'm so excited, I

could buy a gun.

You guys are all

here, at my wedding.

Me... Isn't it just crazy?

Did Regan tell you guys

just how excited I am?

Yeah.

I see Regan all the time.

I'm sick of her.

Yeah. Feeling's mutual.

I'm so sick of you.

I'm sick of you, too.

There's my sick, running

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