Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies Page #4

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I'm so proud.

We should probably split for

that first-aid tent down there.

Hold up, boss.

My balls!

[coughs]

We should keep moving, guys.

Let's go.

But does anybody have

any weed, though?

- [Matt] Shut the f*** up about weed!

- Fine.

[growling]

[growling]

[mayor talking on PA]

Welcome fellow Charlestonians!

[mayor chuckles]

I'm proud to be standing

before you

to officially open the first day

of our fourth annual

Mose Allison Music Festival.

For the kids, we got clowns

and rides

and about as much sugar

as you can shake a stick at.

So, parents, keep an eye on

them little booger eaters.

[laughs]

And for the parents,

we got the wine bar

and beer garden

again this year,

and plenty of games

of chance.

Now, folks, I'm not going to wear you

down with words, I am a politician.

[mayor chuckles]

Go have fun!

Those look good on you.

Thanks.

It's not really

my style, though.

Maybe Trent will like 'em.

Lonnie...

you knew I was going away

to college.

Okay, I can't help

that life changes.

You mean you can't help

that mine didn't?

Lonnie, that's

hardly true, or fair.

I hoped you were doing well.

I signed up for

business courses online.

Things are going

really well for Ed.

There's a future in those pies.

Heck, even my crop-dusting

work's going well.

Lonnie, I know you'll succeed.

You've got a great heart...

and brains.

And whatever paths we take,

I'll always consider you

a friend, but...

[phone beeping]

Uh... It's 911.

I've gotta go.

We'll talk more?

Maybe before you leave?

I don't know.

Bye, Lonnie.

Bye for now.

Go to your better life, then.

[sighs]

Our town is on an upswing.

You should be proud of your

own hardworking efforts

in making Charleston

a better place to live.

Lucky my ass! You done stole the

election from me, you dirty rat!

Oh, I never stole nothin'

in my life there, sir.

- All right.

- Yeah, you did!

[chuckles] I thought I told

you to wait in the truck.

- [man] I'll get you later!

- Okay.

Grandpa at the stage.

Somebody come get him.

- [laughs]

- [man, mockingly] Ha-ha! Yeah!

[mayor] If you haven't tried

Ed Nelson's meat pies...

Mmm!

...you oughta!

They are the best in town.

Son of a b*tch!

That son of a b*tch!

That Ed Nelson?

He is indeed.

Ha! He is indeed.

For years I've been wanting to

get that secret recipe of his.

You know, I talked to Nancy

once, Fred's Super Saver.

Talked to her right in front

of a case of frozen meat pies.

[chuckles] I tell ya.

Irony follows me like a cloud.

[chuckles] Anyway, we

were talking friendly,

so I inquired about her recipe.

Maybe it was the way I asked...

a little too friendly,

maybe a little too curious...

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