As Cool as I Am Page #2

What? Are you calling me bad?

I bet the boring kids with the

stable families,

don't have the beautiful mom who

goes to work in stripper heels.

Bye, thank you!

Hey!

- Missing your dad?

- Yeah!

So now, we've got our

condiment going.

We've got our noodles in the water...

We had a seminary thingy

at work today.

Turns out I'm drifting through an

empty meaningless existence.

See... I tried to tell you.

Yeah.

- How is this show always on?

- I record it.

I kissed two boys today.

So I probably ruined my whole life.

- Was there tongue?

- What?

No, it's gross!

Okay.

Well, then you're probably

not ruined quite yet.

- Do you want to go down to the river?

- We could.

Could if you want.

It's not like we did anything wrong.

Yeah! I know.

Okay! So don't say stuff like

we could if you want.

What kind of way is that

to talk to me.

Holy sh*t!

Okay...

That's the one I'm gonna remember.

Kenny?

I think I just gave him a seizure.

Okay, so now the calamari is

perfectly tender...

Kenny... are you epileptic?

Chicken Caesar... yeah, you're

gonna have to dress it yourself.

If I dress it now, the leaves

will turn all soggy by lunch time.

I expect you to cultivate a deeper

basic meaning in your own life.

Okay, you're using actual

English words that I recognise

but I have no idea what you're saying.

I don't want you to end up like me.

Mom, that has always been

one of my life ambitions.

Okay! Good girl.

- I love you.

- Go!

I'll see you later.

Hello Miss Burgenham.

My name is Lainee

calling on behalf of

Premier Interworks.

Goddamn it. I'm on the federal no-call

list. Get a new job, you loser.

All right, let me hear what

you guys got.

They're restructuring our

work schedule...

- ...you know, because of the new trial...

- Overtime on a Sunday?

- I won't be late, I promise.

- Mom, I made a pork and lamb ragu!

- More people are home on weekends.

- Yeah, okay.

You know it makes more sense to call.

I'm really, really sorry, Lucy.

- Yeah, me too.

- Okay, bye!

Okay!

Hey, want to stay for dinner?

- I can't.

- Please?

You know my mom doesn't

like to eat alone.

So invite her over!

What? Are you ashamed of

me or something?

I'll give you some sauce to take home.

I wish my dad were here.

You know how I say about dreaming big?

Yeah?

Well, in my bigger life... I get to eat

dinner with you every single night.

I'm gonna cook you the most

amazing meals.

So, the penne is just about 30 seconds

left to being perfectly cooked.

What you want to do at

that point is take it out.

Maybe if I found dad a job here,

we could be a real family.

Mom would have to quit working.

Everything would be perfect.

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