Artists and Models Page #5

it's a wonder I've got my striped shorts.

Look at the competition

we're getting in television.

You realise, Abigail, night before last,

I counted 13 murders, four stabbings,

nine suffocations and six poisonings

on two channels in one hour.

And another thing...

Just you think of this, girl.

When they're able to show that blood,

that red blood gushing out

of open wounds in spectacular colour...

And they'll get it free,

right into their living rooms there,

free, right into their living rooms,

sponsored by

those friendly used-car dealers.

Sorry, Mr. Murdock.

Get yourself another artist,

someone who can bleed

to suit your wife.

Please, let's talk this over again.

Now, come on.

Now, please, Abigail, don't leave me.

Oh, miss, I'm Rick Todd

and this is Eugene Fullstack,

and the landlady said

we'd find Abigail Parker here.

She's busy now in surgery.

Good. We'll wait. Sit down.

Look, If Miss Parker

doesn't back up your statement,

we're back on the asphalt,

you know that?

Unless you can prove you weren't

trying to make time with the fat lady.

What "make time"?

Who's got that kind of time?

I told you, Rick, I'm still all excited

about when I saw the Bat Lady.

- You like the Bat Lady?

- Oh, Yeah.

And I just found out she's for real.

Sure she is.

She's a living doll.

- Do you... Do you know her?

- Intimately.

In fact, she's even more darling.

in person.

No fooling.

Boy, those lovely lips.

Those red, inviting, luscious lips,

like two strips of liver

gleaming in the moonlight.

What's wrong with your mouth?

Is it sore?

No. I just thought

I felt a pucker coming on.

Oh. And her eyes,

those magnificent eyes.

What's wrong with yours?

You got astigmatism?

No. I was just uncrossing them.

Hey, they really pay money

for this kind of drawing?

What's the matter

with Abigail's drawing?

Oh, bad, very bad.

Look at all that.

Look, the legs, they look like arms.

You should see the Bat Lady's legs.

- Oh, miss?

- Yes?

Your seam's crooked.

Thanks heaps.

- Yes, Mr. Murdock?

- Bessie, I need an artist.

Get me the names of the best artists

that we have on file.

Yes, sir. I'll bring you the folder.

Did you hear what he said?

He needs an artist.

- Did you hear him?

- I'm way ahead of you, junior.

Look, when Bessie comes out,

you grab her and you kiss her.

- Who wants to kiss her?

- You do. I gotta get into that folder, boy.

Yeah, but I got a blister on my lip.

Look, if you could pretend

that beans are T-bone steaks,

you can pretend that she's the Bat Lady.

She might fight you, but you remember,

you're gonna do this

for your old Kangaroo Patrol pal.

Yeah. Pouches forever.

- Okay, kiss, kiss.

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