Arthur

Cheers.

Bitterman?

Why are you shaving?

Because Robin doesn't have a beard.

Bitterman, we're only doing this

for a bit of a laugh.

We're not genuine crime fighters, are we?

And if we were, you would not be

my first choice of sidekick.

Look at your shoes.

They're your chauffeur shoes, aren't they?

I can see your tummy.

Mr. Bach, are you sure you wanna go

to your mother's fundraiser like this?

I think it's black-tie.

This is black.

Just that Hobson said

not to get into any trouble.

What trouble could possibly come

from a harmless game of dress-up?

Hmm?

Already bought the car.

You think they're chasing us?

Don't be ridiculous, this is the Batmobile.

We're their friends.

Driver, pull the car over.

How do you slow down?

- Where are the brakes on this thing?

What do you suppose this does?

Oh!

Ow!

Ask the police for directions

to your mother's fundraiser.

I think that problem

has been recently superseded.

Tell them it's at a museum.

We destroyed a beloved landmark.

It's around here somewhere.

I need you to not to talk for a little while.

Good evening, officers.

What seems to be the problem?

You're drunk again, Arthur.

No. I have remained drunk

since our last encounter.

Let's go. Batman and Robin,

out of the car. Come on.

Could I just point out

the elephant in the room?

Are these testicles strictly necessary?

They're an accident waiting to happen.

Okay, let's go. Come on.

See, I don't like being this close

to these balls.

I'll be right with you.

Gotham is safe.

Oh, man.

If I could just write you a check

for the damage to your golden cow...

...we can all be about our business.

Say no more.

- Or not. Turn around. Come on.

What's it?

- Are we going to prison?

Yes.

We're going to prison.

We're going to prison, Bitterman.

Yes.

- I knew this day would come and it's today.

That's all well and good...

...but it's not a market crash

we're concerned about.

Your concerns are legitimate, chancellor.

I do assure you that Arthur's

a bit more serious these days.

- He's begun to take an interest in finance.

- Wonderful.

- Could you excuse us?

- Sure.

I'm sorry, Vivienne. The university

cannot wager its endowment...

...on a fund

with such an uncertain future.

He's like a ship without an anchor.

Maybe it's time we tied him

to another ship.

Tito! Tito, I'll see you at the cockfight.

Better be what I think it is.

Wow, you paid for everyone's release?

It seemed unfair that we'd leave

and that they'd remain.

How do you explain

this frivolous spending during a recession?

Fair point.

Uh, recession...

Free money!

This is yours.

Okay, recession's over! We're in a boom!

That was brave.

What incredible flexibility.

- Hello, Hobson.

- Morning, Arthur. And friend.

Tiffany.

Oh, points for knowing her name

and saying it with confidence.

I made a mental association

with my lamp.

Tiffany, this is my nanny, Hobson,

my best friend in the whole world.

- Your nanny?

- He's merely shaped like an adult.

So how are you feeling

on the other side of...

...that vast moat of champagne

called "last night"?

Splendid.

Your mother called.

She wants to see you this morning.

Vivienne? Why do you think

Vivienne wants to see me today?

It doesn't make sense.

After destroying

a world-famous landmark...

...and giving away $78,000

from an ATM, I can't imagine.

- Is she gonna stay here?

Um...

...I wouldn't recommend letting him

get used to your breasts, dear.

He's got an addictive personality,

you know. He was at mine till he was 6.

Hobson.

I had to dab Tabasco on the nipples

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