Anything Else Page #3

put a steak in a doggie bag?''

l thought we'd sit over some wine

and l'd look in your eyes and

tell you how beautiful you are.

l'm not beautiful. l'm fat.

Okay, l'll cancel the reservation.

Let's go home. l'll make myself

some eggs or something.

There are no more eggs.

l ate them.

[Amanda:
] What are you doing?

l made myself a sandwich.

There were some cans of tuna left.

Thank God she hasn't learned how to use

the new electric can opener yet.

My mother's moving in with us.

- What?

- l'm so angry at her.

Wait a minute.

Did l miss something?

She left her boyfriend.

What happened?

l thought she was finally settled.

What happened is she's Madame Bovary.

She's married to a Park Avenue doctor

and that's too dull for her.

Then there's Tom,

the money market maven,

and Perry, the travel agent guy.

But, no, she wants more.

More? More what?

l'm sure she doesn't know.

More fantasies.

Her youth back.

She wants to ''fulfill her life

before it's too late.''

- Those are her words.

- Why is she coming here?

She has no money.

She has nowhere else to go.

Amanda, we have no room.

There's no room here.

l figured we'll put a bed in the office.

ln the office, Amanda?

That's where l write.

That's where l create.

My whole world is in there.

You can create in the living room.

ln the...? No, Amanda.

Everything is in there, okay?

That's my space.

lt's where l write.

All of my rituals

revolve around my space.

- l can't...

- She's my mother.

- She's not staying in a shelter.

- Why didn't you tell me earlier?

- l didn't want to ruin your dinner.

- My anniversary tuna fish sandwich?

You're making matters worse, okay?

You're giving me a migraine.

[phone rings]

Hello.

l'll only be a minute.

When l left you, l ran into Danny Wax.

He said the baby-sitter routine

you wrote for him is not working.

There are no laughs.

Not one laugh in that routine.

People are sitting with stone faces.

The routine is fine.

The guy's just in the wrong profession.

That's what l told him. l said, ''Danny,

you've been around for a long time.

''You think there's a reason

you never made it?''

No tact.

None. None.

l said to him, ''Danny, a man buys a suit.

''He says he's happy with it.

''Then he sees another suit.

Suddenly he doesn't want

the suit he's got.

''He wants a new suit.

He's not happy with the old one.''

Right, yeah.

Listen, l'm a little busy now.

Can l ring you back?

l was up to NBC.

There is nothing doing up there.

Not right now.

Things being equal, they'll change.

Right now they're not equal.

l'd like to have lunch with you this week.

l need a business thing done.

We have to talk.

l got a business thing to discuss.

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