Anything Else

Synopsis: Jerry Falk and David Dobel, who meet at a business meeting, become fast friends. Their commonality is that they are both fledgling New York based comedy writers, largely writing material for stand-ups, are Jewish (although David is an atheist), and are each of bundle of different neuroses. Their big difference is that Jerry is twenty-one, while David is sixty, with forty more years worth of life experience, knowledge and neuroses. While Jerry writes full time - he also working on a novel - David has kept his day job as a public school teacher just in case. In their relationship, David becomes somewhat of Jerry's mentor, providing advice on Jerry's life issues, most which revolve around the fact that Jerry is a product of inertia, he having trouble leaving anyone. That's why Jerry's still with the one and only manager he's ever had, Harvey Wexler. Jerry not only being Harvey's only client (which is a testament to his effectiveness in the job), Harvey also has a 25% take as stipulated in
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Woody Allen
Production: DreamWorks SKG
 
IMDB:
6.4
Metacritic:
43
Rotten Tomatoes:
40%
R
Year:
2003
108 min
$3,135,535
Website
110 Views

You'd be

So easy to love

So easy to ldollze

All others above

So worth the yearnlng for

So swell to keep

Every home flre burnlng for

We'd be

So grand at the game

So carefree together

That lt

Does seem a shame

That you can't see

Your future wlth me

'Cause you'd be

Oh-so-easy to love

There's great wisdom in jokes, Falk, really.

There's an old joke

about a prizefighter in the ring.

He's getting his brains beat out.

And his mother's in the audience,

and she's watching him getting beaten up.

There's a priest next to her

and she says, ''Father, pray for him.''

And the priest says, ''l will,

but if he could punch, it would help.''

There's more insight in thatjoke,

into what l call the Giant So What

than most books on philosophy.

Women.

Camus said that women are all

that we're ever going to know

of paradise on earth.

ln your case, Falk,

there is a seminal joke

that Henny Youngman used to tell

that l think is perfect.

lt sums it up perfectly

as far as you go.

Guy comes into a doctor's office.

He says, ''Doc, it hurts when l do this.''

The doctor says, ''Don't do it.''

Think about that.

That's Davld Dobel,

and l'm Jerry Falk.

We spent many afternoons walklng

and talklng ln the park.

Dld l know when l flrst met hlm

how nuts he was?

We met at the office of some so-called

intellectual comedian's agent.

We were comedy writers trying

to break into the business

by writing nightclub routines for comics.

The difference was,

l was 21 and he was 60.

He wants truisms.

Notjustjokes. Truisms.

We can't afford the crazy prices

for the more established...

Let me say this, if l may.

l can't speak for David Dobel

because l don't handle him.

ln fact, Jerry and l just met him now.

But l've handled Jerry Falk

since he began, and with Jerry Falk,

you get top-quality goods for your money.

You can buy a suit and get

the same cut in a cheap fabric

as you can in an expensive fabric.

Jerry gives you affordable fabric,

a quality fabric, at affordable prices.

ls this gabardine?

Who is that piece goods salesman

who handles you?

Harvey? Don't ask.

My cross to bear.

l'd love to dump him,

but l'm his only client.

You pay that troll

ten percent of your salary?

lt's a long story.

He was there for me

when my marriage broke up.

Your... don't tell me

you got married young.

You thought it would be exciting.

lt turned out to be hebetudinous

and you dumped her.

Am l right?

You are not. She left me.

l can't leave anybody.

lt's my main problem in analysis.

l'm afraid to sleep alone. ''Hebetudinous?''

- You're in analysis already?

- Yes. Very committed, actually.

l turned down some TV jobs

in Los Angeles

because my shrink felt

we weren't finished yet.

You chose psychoanalysis over real life?

Are you learning disabled?

[Falk:
] Obviously, you're not familiar

with analysis.

Wrong. l'm completely familiar with it.

Similar hustlers tried to fob it

off on me at Payne Whitney.

- You were in Payne Whitney?

- That's right. A nuthouse.

l was in the psycho ward

for six months,

a vacation l don't look back on

with great nostalgia.

Really?

Relax.

You don't have to move away.

Oh, no. l'm not suggesting

you were violent.

But l was violent.

That's why they put you in a straitjacket.

You were in a straitjacket?

l'm not going to take an ax

and split your head open.

- Don't be scared.

- l'm just surprised.

What happened?

Why were you there?

l broke up with this girl,

and they put me

with a psychiatrist who said,

''Why did you get so depressed,

''and do all those things you did?''

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Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and playwright, whose career spans more than six decades. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Anything Else" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 12 Nov. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/anything_else_3000>.

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