Angels in the Outfield Page #3

Our schoolboy star,

the pride of Milwaukee High.

But I worry about you, son.

You're gonna catch a fly ball some

of these days and knock your front teeth.

Cruicksie.

Cruicksie, you were fine.

You didn't fall down once.

And here we have the famous

Saul Hellman, our relief pitcher.

You fellas may not believe this...

...but Saul once pitched

a two-hitter in a World Series.

Of course, that was quite some time ago.

But he's still in there pitching.

One walk and four hits

on 10 pitched balls.

Don't you think

you're old for this pastime?

You should've quit winners

when you could reach the plate.

Easy, Saul.

I'm glad for one thing:

Today's game puts us in eighth place.

We can go no lower in this league.

We used to have a guy like that

in the Three-I League.

Put gunpowder in his cigarettes.

Hey, has McGovern always been like this?

You knew him in the minors, didn't you,

way back when?

Well, what I mean is, you know,

when you were first breaking in...

You can say it. Sixteen years ago.

You've got plenty of stuff left. Plenty.

Sure.

- Where's my good-luck piece?

- I put it in your uniform.

- Well, where is it?

- Maybe you dropped it out on the field.

Of all the empty-headed,

buck-brained trainers.

Don't tell me I lost that good-luck piece.

You've misplaced it somewhere

you dope, you...

Oh, shut up.

- What?

- Close your fat mouth. I wanna talk to you.

If that's some wise guy

on the PA system, I'll bust his snoot.

You'll bust nobody's snoot.

You've been busting snoots...

... and polluting the air

with your foul talk long enough.

Frankly, we're fed up.

- Do tell. And who are you, may I ask?

- An angel.

- How's that?

- I'm an angel.

Well, you must be very proud.

Let me get my hands on him.

I'll make him an angel.

Oh, you're cold, McGovern.

I never sit in the field boxes.

Where do you sit?

Usually on the right hand

of the archangel Gabriel.

- That name mean anything to you?

- Sure, sure, Gabriel. Trumpet player.

None of your lip,

or I'll boot you over the wall.

I can get just as tough as you, remember.

I'll murder this guy.

Cold, Guffy.

Oh, colder, still.

Now you're getting warm.

- Keep talking.

- The angel Gabriel's taken...

... a personal interest in you.

Someone down there has been

sending up prayers on your behalf.

Somebody praying for me? Gee.

- One punch, that's all I ask! One punch!

- Before he answers those prayers...

... he'd like to clean you up.

I'm stuck with the job.

There's certain rules.

I'll give them to you fast.

Number one, cut out the blasphemy.

Number two,

start treating your fellow men...

... with more respect and understanding.

Quit making life miserable

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