American Pie Presents: Band Camp Page #6

the bass drum relay.

Yeah, that's true.

Yours look totally fantastic.

Two for the price of one.

My left one's bigger, see?

Yeah, mine, too, baby.

They can totally fix that.

No!

Want to see?

I used to be...

Lens fog. No!

What is that thing, butt weasel?

Yeah, it's the KR3, baby.

The Kaplowitz Remote Robotic Rover.

And you are so busted.

- Hey, Oscar, somebody call the Macro.

- Dude, please, shut up.

Pull your panties out of your ass.

I can help you with that chick.

What chick?

Dude, the one with all the tattoos.

The Tubanator.

Her name is Chloe.

Come on, man. I can help.

I'm the Stiffmeister.

- Master of love and romance.

- Bullshit.

I nailed three cheerleaders in one week

on spring break. College cheerleaders.

And I know why your camera spritzed out.

Dude, this thing is awesome.

- You ever use this to look up chicks' skirts?

- No.

But I did use it to win

the State Science Fair last year.

And I'm hoping it gets me into MIT next fall.

I really want to work for NASA.

National Anal Sex Association?

No it's Space...

- There's an Anal Sex Association?

- Oh, yeah, but you've got to be a pro.

Wait, there's a Space Association?

You were supposed to use this.

- See, it's got an anti-fog lens. Duh.

- Yeah, good.

- Can the robot record?

- All right, so, what are your intentions?

With the video, I mean. What are you doing?

Oh, it's just for fun.

I mean, who doesn't like to look

at hot naked chicks, right?

Keep it between us, and I'll let you watch.

Plus, I'll have you giving Chloe

the pelvic noogie inside a week.

Hey, Stifler. Phone.

We're in Detroit!

Locked into sweet Brazilian rum.

I'm f***ing fubar, man!

I sent you rum today.

Could come in handy in Dorksville.

This place blows.

Hey, my roommate, Dr. Robot...

busted me taping some college chicks

in the shower.

So now I have to be all nice to him and sh*t.

And I'm not getting any good footage

'cause these f***ing bandees hate me.

Think of it

like trying to hook up with a virgin.

Act like you give a sh*t about them

until they bring you into the good stuff.

Earn their trust?

Dude, that could work.

I'll be an undercover bandee f***er.

Hello, everyone.

Isn't it a peachy day here at Band Camp?

Band buds. How's it going? Yo.

Hey, I just want to say thanks

for the little wakeup call. You kidders.

Hey, I can finally hear

the music calling me, okay?

There. Hear it? Yeah. Me, too.

So I'm a totally new man, and... By the way,

you both look great in pantyhose.

- What are you doing?

- Awaiting my marching lesson, ma'am.

Look, Matt, I really don't have time for this

right now.

No, look, I figure I'm here,

I might as well make the best of it.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote