American Idiots Page #5

That's a b*tch, man.

That's it?

"That's a b*tch, man"?

That's all you've got to say?

Well, what you want me to say?

Hey, Dad, I got something for you.

- Oh yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

Let's see it.

Oh, my name is Wyatt.

And I'm a sissy simpering boy.

My girlfriend left me.

All those months ago.

Ain't nothing to do about it.

Except cry like the rain.

Don't want to talk to nobody.

'Cause I like the pai-iiin.

Ahhh.

- That's all you got?

- That was it, baby.

All right.

I'm not Elvis,

I'm a fraud and a loser.

Who assumes the identity

of an aging Vegas act.

Silly sassy boy who ain't good.

At nothing at all.

Who's been acting

after all these years.

And still hasn't done jack sh*t.

Fat-ass Elvis, drugged up,

can't-take-a-sh*t Elvis.

Wearing a jacket

that his mama made him.

My mama didn't make it,

it's an original.

You little

Mark Wahlberg wannabe.

Ain't got no car,

drive a Pinto to set

I drive a Cadillac,

you little whiny brat.

Who probably takes dick

in the Walmart alley too...

What the hell's going on?

We're trying to set up a shot here.

- I need to replace you two?

- Sorry.

- No, no sir.

- All right, then shut the f*** up.

I'm sorry, man.

It's all right, man.

Me too. Me too.

I didn't mean that about your suit.

It looks real nice.

I appreciate that. I didn't mean nothing

about the Walmart crack either.

So the director wants

you two on set in an hour.

So we're gonna be quick.

Hey, Wyatt.

I didn't know you got

cast in this commercial.

What's up, Angie?

What are you doing here? Makeup, huh?

Well yeah, I've gotta get

a couple extra bucks.

- I'm gonna hightail my ass to Vegas.

- Yeah?

For work or for pleasure?

Oh...

you don't know.

- Know what?

- Katie moved back home.

No, I didn't know that.

How is she doing?

She's getting married.

A week after she got back,

she met someone.

What happened to

"she wasn't ready"? I mean,

when's the wedding?

In 37 hours.

Hey, I've gotta take this.

But if you need to talk,

I'll be back

in a couple minutes, okay?

Oh my God!

Come here.

I know how you feel.

I really do.

I just wanted to tell you, man,

yours truly,

I've been kicked down

a couple notches by love.

Believe me, man,

I've been kicked down

from Tupelo to Memphis.

Well, great.

That's you and your sh*t

and this is me and my sh*t.

And just because you got sh*t

doesn't mean my sh*t's better.

I still got sh*t!

Wyatt, listen.

You know those rare times

when you find someone...

that special someone...

and that someone special finds you,

and you're both drawn

to each other

and you get closer

and closer and you're like...

- like a set of magnets?

- Yeah, it's called attraction.

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