American Idiots

Synopsis: After losing the girl of his dreams to another man, Wyatt and his posse pack their suitcases and head out on the craziest, screwball road trip to Las Vegas to win her back. With less then twenty-seven hours to break up her wedding, they must make it before it is too late without falling apart at the seams and living up to their names... American Idiots!
Genre: Comedy, Romance
92 min

Hello, Wyatt.

I have a few questions

before we complete your profile.


Boxers or briefs?


Is your ass hairy?

Well, it's not.

I don't shave my ass

if that's what you mean.

One last question:

Would you rather bang a guy

or get banged by a guy?


I'm not answering that!

So banged in the ass!

I must be hearing things.

Yeah, the summer sun's gone.

So what do I do?

Tryin' to move on,

I found someone new.

But it's not you,

no, it's not you.

And misery lives

down Memory Lane.

When I go down the road,

always feel the same.

'Cause I miss you,

yeah, I miss you.

To be without you

would be pain defined.

And she might.

Still have the magic

in her eyes.

The magic.

She might.

Still have the magic

in her eyes.

The magic.

In her eyes.

Sitting in the room

under candlelight.

Thinking you will never

find your Mr. Right.

But it's not true,

no, it's not true.

And you can be my princess,

I'll be your knight.

My armor might be dirty,

but my love still shines.

Yes, it shines through,

yeah, it still shines through.

To be with you

is happiness defined.

And she might.

Still have the magic

in her eyes.

The magic.

She might.

Still have the magic

in her eyes.

Wipe it off. So dirty.

Oh, so dirty. Wipe it.

Oh oh. Slow down.

Oh oh oh yeah.

Oh, too much for me to handle.

I just...

Okay, oh yes.

I'm open for a little negotiating.

Ready for this? This is what

we've been training for, buddy.


Here we go, buddy.

You pack up that

little thumbtack of yours

and haul it on out of here

before I snap it off!

This whole miniature golf course

is calling our names.

Let's finish off this hole

so I can whup your ass!

Oh, you wanna bet?

Hey, it was my turn anyway!

See, that's what you get.

I'm gonna bounce you out.

Oh, look at me, I just gave it to you.

I still give you the game,

just like when you were little!

You need to find a nice girl.

Maybe that'll cook for you

and stop eating

all that fast food, okay?

You know I go on

a lot of nice dates,

but... I don't know.

We're having a party tonight

and maybe I'll meet the one.

What do you want?

You're almost 30 years old, Wyatt.

You need to find yourself a girl.

There's a reason why

somebody's not married by

the time they're 30 years old.

- Yeah? Why's that?

- Because they're fucking nuts!

You don't want to be 40 and fat

and bald and not have somebody.

I mean, hey,

everybody wants to get some,

but, you know... not everybody

can be Van Halen, you know.

Huh? Van Halen?

Yeah, guys that get some.

No, they're all rock stars

and all bald by now, okay?

They're not getting

any at all, so there.

They may be bald,

but they've got bigger dicks than me.

Yes, I know.

I've changed your diapers, okay?

- I know what it's like...

- Oh ho ho!

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

I know you're not blessed.

- You are not gifted, okay?

- Wow.

It's hard to believe that...

- Hey.

- Whassup, girl?

Are you the guy with the stuff?

Ha, no. I am not.

There's a guy upstairs... Asian guy.

He's got the stuff

you're probably looking for.

Feel free to look around,

check it out.

- Cool, thanks.

- Do it.

Do it.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- Big time, man.

- The party's a little out of control.

Dude, what are you worried about?

Look at this.

They're chilling, they're all having

a good time. It's a party.

- You know what a party is, right?

- I do.

Don't worry about it.

I got your house unlocked.

We're good.

We're good. I'll be back.

That scares me the most.

Hi, is this your house?

- Yeah.

- You want to show me around?

- Uh...

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)


Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Português (Portuguese)
  • Deutsch (German)
  • العربية (Arabic)
  • Français (French)
  • Русский (Russian)
  • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • 한국어 (Korean)
  • עברית (Hebrew)
  • Український (Ukrainian)
  • اردو (Urdu)
  • Magyar (Hungarian)
  • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italiano (Italian)
  • தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Türkçe (Turkish)
  • తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Čeština (Czech)
  • Polski (Polish)
  • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Românește (Romanian)
  • Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latinum (Latin)
  • Svenska (Swedish)
  • Dansk (Danish)
  • Suomi (Finnish)
  • فارسی (Persian)
  • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English (English)

Discuss this American Idiots script with the community:


Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


"American Idiots" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 23 Jan. 2020. <>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

American Idiots

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.