Almost Heroes Page #3

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Just rip it off.

Once there was a hawk

that swooped down from the sky...

and plucked a man's eyeballs

out of his sockets.

The fellow was screaming,

"Im blind, I can't see!

"I can't get it off!"

- Twice when I was fishing...

- Hunt...

- I think you're scaring the men.

- I think it's best they know.

Gives a man courage

to know what he's up against.

There's an animal now!

Kill him!

We can't kill it.

We're all dead!

- God save us!

- Hold your fire!

Its only a squirrel.

He's got something in his hand!

31 May, 1804.

We are now spending our first night

in the wilds.

From this point on...

hardship and deprivation will be

our constant companions.

Jonah, it is absolutely brutal out here.

The water's nowhere near as hot

as it was in Virginia.

I wouldn't know, sir.

Personally, I just finished

washing my privates in the ice-cold river.

I think Ill... Yes, I think Ill wear

my paisley robe this evening.

- Its your prerogative, sir.

- Yes, it is.

Mr. Hunt here to see you, sir.

I just thought I'd tell you there's already

a problem with the men's morale.

Its our first night out.

How can there already be a problem?

One faction feels that you're distant,

you don't care about them.

Another group feels that the original

high-minded goals of the expedition...

have been abandoned for quick profits.

You have to keep on top of these things.

...and we're all in this together.

We are no different from one another.

Except, of course, for our rank in society

and in this company.

Let us get better acquainted.

What do you do with your leisure time?

Leisure time.

You know, time for yourself

where you don't have to work.

Leisure... Never mind.

You there, fingering that stomach wound.

Stand up and tell us a little about yourself.

- Me, sir?

- Yes, you. Bidwell, isn't it?

Yes, sir. What did you want to know?

Well, anything. Where are you from?

What's your family like?

Name's Bidwell, sir.

Yes, I know that.

All right. Well. Anyone else?

Sir, Higgins has a story.

Oh, yes. You're going to love this one.

Well, all right, Higgins. The floor is yours.

This particular event happened last

summer on my uncle's farm in Virginia.

My brother and I

had just finished cutting a field of hay...

and were enjoying the evening meal

under the shade of an elm tree.

He went down for water by the creek,

and while he was gone...

I took a bowl that was filled

with delicious plum pudding...

and placed into it, not one...

but two large pieces of sheep sh*t.

When he returned, I encouraged him

to taste the plum pudding.

And as sure as Im standing

before you today, he did.

He ate it all. Sh*t pudding.

He ate sh*t pudding.

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