Almost Christmas Page #6

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That obviously didn't work out.

Okay, really?

I was talking

about the dressing.

You cannot help yourself,

and it is baffling.

We were talking about our mother

and somehow you made it

about my marriage.

I wasn't talking about your marriage.

I was talking about your divorce.

At least I was smart enough

to get one.

Smartness! Hey, I'm still in the room.

Okay? Girls!

88's in the house!

Are y'all fighting already?

Niya, pack your stuff.

We're going to a hotel.

A hotel? A hostel, hotel,

it's the same thing.

Girls! It'll be an adventure.

Come on.

Don't waste a bus pass

on my account.

Pack your bags, Lonnie.

Hey, Rachel! That's called karma.

We're getting the hell out of here.

Hey, Rachel! Cheryl!

Here we go.

You two. Get down here now!

What's wrong with you two?

I didn't start this, Daddy.

Oh, my God! You always start it.

Actually, you both started it.

You stay out of it.

You're just making it worse.

I'm makin'...

Okay. I'm Lonnie, now.

This is exactly why I wanted

to stay in a hotel, Pop.

Well, what's stopping you

now, huh?

Nothing's stopping me.

Quiet! Quiet! Hey, quiet!

What would your mother say if she could

see you carrying on like this, huh?

Five days.

Just five days for you all

to act like a family.

To act like you have the good

sense you were raised with.

Five days so we can make it

through Christmas.

That's all I'm asking.

Can you do that? Huh?

Love you, Pops.

You gotta hug me back.

I need it. There it is!

You all should feel

like a bunch of dumbasses.

No, Aunt May, I came here with

the purest of intentions.

You are just

straight up delusional!

Shut up!

You're the one being stupid!

Shut up!

Now just shut the sh*t up!

I'm sick of it.

Your daddy too damn old

for all this bullshit.

Now if y'all don't get your asses in

that kitchen and apologize right now,

I'm kicking everybody's ass

in here. Come on.

Well, I just walked in.

Boy, listen here.

Your little ass got on them red Bozo shoes.

That's why you gotta apologize.

Get your asses in the kitchen.

Y'all need to get yourselves together

so we can go to church tomorrow.

Look at this.

Look at this young sh*t, here.

Push a b*tch again!

Push a b*tch again!

God damn it!

Y'all gotta go to church

tomorrow. You get there early.

Lonnie, get your ass

away from me.

This don't make no sense.

They're just going

to blow my buzz.

We're not going to make it

to Christmas, are we?

Huh! Not a damn chance.

That's some good liquor

right there, baby.

And the award for the most

outstanding performance

on offense, defense,

and special teams

for the Sportsman

of the Universe...

I'm talking

for the entire millennium.

Ladies and gentlemen,

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