Airheads Page #2

Yo.

- Mama.

Wow. Now you got yourself

a whole arsenal here.

What are you doing?

Pepper sauce. Active ingredient: capsicum.

You blast this in somebody's face

and they're all like 'Oh. Oh.'

Some Hollywood Boulevard trash

comes shimmying up the rain pipe...

Hey.

- Whoa.

Listen up, you lowlifes, what the hell

are we doin' here on a Thursday night?

That's right.

Rock 'n' roll.

OK, we're here to party tonight...

...with our little buddies...

...the Sons of Thunder.

Sons of Thunder? Didn't we blow them off

the stage at Chez Bang six months ago?

So why don't all you little idiots

press your faces up against the speakers...

...and blow your brains out.

Look at this crap. What do we

give away first, hats or hair-care products?

Girls, you wanna get us

a couple of drinks, please?

Ooh, serious bumper.

You wanna punch it up, Ian?

You're as spunky as a corpse.

The Sons of Thunder,

for Christ's sake? Pablum.

How can you even tell these bands apart?

- I read the trades.

First of all I'd like to say thanks to Ian

and Rebel Radio for playing our single...

...and basically getting us signed.

Is this on?

# Don't hate me

Look at them stupid pantaloons.

That's what we gotta do.

- Looks like they got a load in them pants.

No, they played this song on the radio, and

they got an album. That's what we gotta do.

# Your lips are full, your head is empty...

...# This faded Valentine

is what you sent me

All we've got to do is get 'em

to play the tape and we're golden.

This is never gonna work.

- Pip, what is your problem?

Remember that guy Doper Greg?

Remember that guy, man?

He used to blow bong hits in his iguana's

face and make the thing watch cartoons.

So what? Will you shut up?

- Just get to the point. What?

He won a radio giveaway and when he

went to the station they wouldn't let him in.

It was like this total security building. They...

...slid his ticket through

a slot with salad tongs.

So just because that anus couldn't get in

means that we can't?

If anybody gives us any static,

I shove this in their face.

Agh.

But remember that fat kid

on Hard Copy with a toy gun?

The cop zapped him with a Taser

till he went bald.

Then he sued for a million bucks

when his pubes didn't grow.

He's still got no hair on his balls, man.

Go to the back.

It's locked.

- Pip, give me your bank card.

Come on, let's go. I'll get this door open.

- Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Piece of cake. Watch this.

What's your secret code?

- Huh? What for?

That's how these things work.

I can't tell you my code.

- Will you tell him the code? And hurry up.

You punch it in, OK?

Please don't look.

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