Adult Life Skills Page #4

You're a bully.

Does he still love the Spice Girls?

Ah, leave him alone.

He's a lot taller than I remember,

not that actually means anything.

I googled this after a very

disappointing encounter

with a basketball

player in Koh Samui.

Apparently it has nothing to do with

height, or feet, or anything like that.

There were these guys,

Korean guys,

and basically they measured them

and they found out it's all

to do with the

second and fourth digit?

So the key is look at a guy's hand.

You need to listen to me.

Wait!

You need to listen otherwise

you're gonna end up with some nice guy

whose got a broad digital ratio

and your vagina's never gonna forgive ya.

So you've already bumped

into the prodigal one?

Hey, what are ya doin' 'ere?

Ummm

Savin' the day!

I'm helpin' her out with the kid's company

while Maggie's off.

So you've dressed accordingly?

Yes.

That's just not appropriate footwear.

Wot? I'm Miss Scarlett.

This is my contempory interpretation.

I'm getting into my part

Stanislavski style.

Do you think Stanislavski wore porn shoes?

Uhh, they're your porn shoes.

Oh f***!

Hang on!

I need you to play the victim.

- Wot?!

- Ha ha!

So you snog anyone then?

Only in a mirror.

Maybe you should become a lesbian.

That sash quite suits you.

D'ya know what I just think?

You need to get 'bout more in

touch with yourself.

- You know what, try Yoga,

- Ugh.

- ...meditate, and honestly

- Stop.

- ...when I was on this island

- No. No, no, no, no, no, no, you promised

that when you came back

you wouldn't be a wanker.

Well...

should've come with me like

you were supposed to.

Then you'd be a wanker too.

That doesn't make any sense.

Ahhh, this is takin' ages.

Cuz you're such a fat, f***in', b*tch!

Come on!

Look!

C'mon.

Right!

I want ya... to survey

the scene.

Somethin'...

is wrong.

Things... don't add up.

Look at the people.

How are they behavin'?

What are they hidin'?

How...

do they give themselves away?

She's alive, case solved.

It's only a game.

A rubbish one.

Right!

Let's go and interview Miss Scarlett!

Then we're gonna look

at a capsule of information

about the victim.

Come on!

You look like Clint Eastwood.

My name is Clint.

Hmmm, very funny.

Why?

You're serious?

Yeah.

My dad is a cowboy,

blows buildings up with dynamite.

What? Like a re-enacter?

Yeah, and that's what I wanna do

when I grow up.

D'ya wanna see the fastest

gunslinger in the West?

See it?

You didn't do it.

Yeah, I know, it's a joke.

It's not funny.

One.

Four.

Two.

- Four.

- Three.

Four.

Four.

Four.

- Six.

- Four.

- Four. Four. Four.

- Fourteen.

Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God,

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