Adult Life Skills
- Year:
- 2016
- 96 min
- 512 Views
This is Houston,
we're about to lose radio contact.
This is Houston,
we're about to lose radio contact.
This is Houston,
we're about to lose radio contact.
This is Houston,
we're about to lose radio contact.
Wake up.
Wake up.
- Wake up!
- Wot?
- I can't sleep.
- For f***'s sake.
We've lost communication now,
if I can't communicate
with people I love...
what does that mean?
Peace and quiet?
Do I exist?
- O my God
- Do you believe in God?
For f***'s sake wot time is it?
Are we going to crash into the sun?
Probably.
Like Icarus.
Uh no,
Icarus' downfall was due to hubris.
Wot?
Excessive pride.
Being a dick.
Are you making a video?
No.
I can see the laptop screen...
Get to bed.
You looked like death
warmed up, earlier.
Marion, have you looked
in the mirror lately?
Stay out of this, Mum.
There's a hair on your chin
What you lookin'?
Oh, f***in' 'ell!
Ahh
Anna!
Get out!
I'm late!
I don't care!
Didn't you used to live in a commune?
Yeah, but we didn't shower together!
Anna!
Ohhh my God!
Is it too much to ask for you to get
dressed before you leave the house?
I haven't left the house.
If you two don't get out
of here in five seconds...
I will pull back this curtain.
Oh my God, what is that?
Mom!
Five...
Four...
There is post for you.
Three...
I don't care.
Two...
Can we have a chat about
your birthday tonight, please?
One!
Oh my God, Mom!
It is said
That you cannot be found
I will lay down
I will lay down
I can be found
beneath the rose
beneath the rose
Alone
Safe to say
That I'll never be found
You will be crowned
You will be crowned
Queen of all
you have found
you have found
Alone
Sorry!
You look like you're lactating.
Need to be avin' sex for that.
Is work interfering with
Maggie's sun-tanning regime?
Don't ask... she phoned me at half-seven
to tell me about her fungal infection
This is not the week for her
to be off sick.
Wots with "moles"?
Alfy said she wants to keep a record of
how many new ones comin' up each day.
Why?
Somethin' about old people trippin' over.
'Scuse me, ladies...
I've just found this outside.
Sometimes I wish the
suffragettes hadn't bothered.
Hiya!
Hiya.
You're runnin' a bit late for
work aren't ya?
My boss is away this week,
I've got the office to myself.
Ah, you lucky git.
Ta.
I've got somethin' for you.
Sh*t!
Ah.
It had arms and a face.
Oh.
I was gonna text a photo to you
but I thought if it was just a photo
you wouldn't believe it,
I could've just googled it.
So I thought I'd bring it to you
but now I'm just standing here holding
what looks like an old man's dick.
How's the book goin'?
Yeah, it's good.
What's it about again?
It's about a cat who goes away
and then...
they think, "Where's the cat gone?"
but the cat
Are you the cat?
No, I'm not the cat.
Have you been washin' up?
Got a wet bra on.
I thought you dip 'em in your tea.
Domain is due to Expire
Domain is due to Expire
Ladies and gentlemen...
Who are we?
Let's start at the very beginning.
Billy and Anna are twins
who grew up in the
arse end of nowhere.
Yorkshire!
Yorkshire!
radicals on the fringes of society would...
Dressing up as TV detectives
from the 1970s.
And imagining they were in the "A Team".
In 1972, a crack commando unit was
sent to prison by a military court.
It was a happy time
where dreams of the future were forged.
As far back as I can remember
Give me a break!
As far back as I can remember
You gotta be kiddin'
As far back as I can remember
After narrowly avoiding being beaten up
their Nan explained a painful home truth...
"It's a thin line between being
a maverick artistic genius..."
David Hasselhoff
"...and just some a**hole
that everyone finds annoying." Bono
Astonished by the insight of this advice
- vision to help others.
- Anna!
And thus... "How to Live..."
Stick the kettle on.
Do you know what
happened to the microwave?
No.
Whose is that?
Here she is now.
Anna, this is my new hairdresser...
Luke.
She didn't always look this bedraggled.
Ah, I think you look great.
Clearly blind Luke, I've still got spots
and I'm starting getting gray hair as well.
Sorry.
Don't be like that,
don't walk off.
It's...
He's come to give you a nice haircut.
That's brilliant, Mum, but I'm busy.
Sorry, Luke.
Anna!
You're being rude.
Got work to do!
Wha, what are you busy doing Anna? I hope
you're not making them bloody film videos.
I'm not.
You look like a homeless teenager.
Should have a dog and
a piece of string.
Some men like women who
haven't made an effort.
You don't look like you
haven't made an effort...
you look like
you can't afford to.
You want to have a go at me as well?
What do you think about my haircut?
Sh*t, right?
Mmm, it's not as bad as the one that's
immortalized in your passport
where your gender's in question.
Anna!
I'm actually trying to do something
constructive for your welfare.
Bon Jovi's still here.
Don't shut the door on me
we've not finished.
Anna.
Anna... just come and have a cup o' tea.
I'm workin'.
Oh yeah.
Mum!
Mum!
Calm down, Marion.
Don't tell me to calm down,
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"Adult Life Skills" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/adult_life_skills_2240>.
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