Accidental Love Page #3

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They put him on indefinite leave

because of his medical situation.

- It was a sabbatical.

- They forced him to take a break.

- OK, that's not important.

- Oh, it's important.

He prayed to God to save his 40-year-old marriage.

And God answered with Viagra and Cialis.

And that didn't work. And then he

answered with an experimental super pill.

- I signed a waiver.

- You see this?

- No one wants to hear this.

- Wow.

- OK, super. Let's, uh... let's go, Scott.

- OK.

Did you see the size of that

preacher's basket. Whoa.

Hi, everyone. I just want to thank you

all for coming. You're all under arrest.

Just kidding. I just wanted to say that

it's time to make a request for donations.

So I wanted to say that...

Sorry. Sorry. Alice, the speakers aren't

wired right. Fix something, please.

OK, I've prepared some remarks. Please don't leave.

Why is everyone leaving?

6.33, 6.34.

Some stupid change from Cousin Al.

Does the bank even cash a check for a dollar?

That's from Jim. People said they woulda gave

more if it was another organ like a kidney.

What's she supposed to do?

Stick a nail in her liver?

I specifically asked for the

speakers to be wired...

- I tried.

- It's not cool when you can't get

financial backing from white people.

We'll just have to get the funds the

old-fashioned way. Work and save.

I can't. I got fired.

That's bad for business.

Nobody gets everything, remember, Alice?

Hang in there.

There's gotta be something we can do.

News flash, I've been a large

animal vet for 23 years.

I've seen pitchforks and backhoes imbedded

in cow heads. I think I can handle this.

I do not approve. You do not

have my consent, Alice.

This nail is coming between you and me

and everything, Scotty. It's got to go.

If something goes wrong, don't blame me.

Hey! I don't want talk like

that in my operating theater.

- Not my fault.

- Anesthesia.

- Pass the anesthesia.

- It's how the cowboys did it.

- Hey, why are you drinking that?

- Yeah. Why is the doctor drinking?

- Steadies the hands.

- I like her.

- Maybe she could do us next, Rev.

- Uhh, let's, uh, let's see how this goes, first.

Google doesn't show much similarity

between a cow brain and a human brain.

Google's not always right, you know.

Neither is Wikipedia.

I think kids just make up stuff there.

- Reverend, please.

- Prayer.

Bless this crazy, scary ramshackle operation.

Guide Rita's hands. Protect Alice, Amen.

OK, here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna take these tweezers...

and I'm gonna go in about

three-and-a-half to four centimeters.

And I'm gonna find that nail.

I have to...

I gotta get down in there pretty...

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