About Last Night... Page #5

lights on. I just lost control of my car.

Whooped your ass, boy.

And I gave you a head start.

- Why you bail on me on Saturday?

- I was busy.

Doing what? Writing in your diary?

If you don't want to

deal with Debbie,

why don't you just stop putting

parts of you in parts of her?

- Do you have a problem with that?

- Actually, I do.

Okay, you not the one that's getting

an earful from Joan, man. I am!

Nothing makes you more unattractive than

your best friend dicking over her friend.

I'm not dicking Debbie over!

You're doing the f***-buddy

dance right now.

- What?

- The f***-buddy dance.

When you do that dance,

somebody gets hurt.

Nine times out of 10, it's the person

with the vagina and I'm telling you,

I'm not gonna be

fraternizing with the enemy.

That's the stupidest thing

I've ever heard you say,

- and you've said some stupid sh*t.

- It's not stupid.

You know what this is?

It's the Lando Calrissian effect.

I'm out here getting p*ssy in Cloud City,

giving Han Solo a run for his money.

Now when they find out that

I'm friends with Darth Vader,

know what's gonna happen?

I'm gonna get stuck in

the Millennium Falcon

with a racially offensive co-pilot.

It's the Star Wars

equivalent to castration.

Dude, you either get

in or you get out.

Fine, but I'm not the bad guy.

You will be. You will be.

Danny!

Hey.

Hi, stranger.

Told you I had great seats.

Yeah, these are great.

For you.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

- There you go. Now you're ready.

- Is that good?

Now you're ready. Look at that.

Can't we move closer?

We could, but these are my seats.

Yeah, but those can be our seats.

Well, it doesn't

really work like that.

Why, are there seat cops?

These are my dad's seats.

He inherited them from his

dad, so it's a thing.

Yeah. You get it, right?

Yeah, I get it. I do.

These are great seats.

Good.

Where's Joan?

She's gonna meet us here.

Where's Bernie?

He said he's gonna meet us here.

- Right.

- Right.

Wait, so do they

know we set them up?

Yeah, baby. I mean,

they ain't stupid.

I know they're not stupid. I just...

I want them to work it out.

- Are you serious, do we still need these?

- Yes.

When's the last time

you got tested?

Tested? I don't know.

I was in college.

College? I am tested every

year at my Pap smear.

Bernie, you need to get tested.

Okay, first of all, do I wanna

know what a Pap smear is?

No.

- Take the test, I'll take the test.

- Thank you.

- Wait a minute. Give me a second!

- I'm...

That's it, it's on.

Wait, wait, no, it's not.

- See, this is what happened last time...

- It's on.

- It's on!

- Are you sure?

I'm... I know when it's on!

Now that I got this big old gift wrapped,

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