
About Last Night...
- R
- Year:
- 1986
- 113 min
- 974 Views
So, tell me.
Tell you what?
About last night.
So, I go to that new spot
on Sixth and Main, right?
Right.
- Nice atmosphere, beautiful women, Danny.
- Shit.
Why are you saying "shit"?
I asked you to come.
I see this chick, cute girl, tight.
- Model tight?
- No. No, no, no, no.
I'm not fucking with them
anorexic girls no more, dude.
It's like fucking a 10-speed
bike with daddy issues.
True.
This girl, she's put together, man, I mean,
nice titties, nice ass, whole package.
But, I think I kind of know her.
Hey, my name is Bernie.
Good for you.
You know Angela.
- Yeah, I know Ang, too.
- Right, Bernie.
Yeah.
Yeah, you used to date Angela.
Date?
No, I was fucking the shit out
of Angela, that's what that was.
You got those edges nappy, huh?
So, at this point, I'm intrigued.
Nothing makes a guy sexier than if
he screwed over a chick you hate.
- It's like revenge by association.
- Exactly.
So, this Bernie's got a pair. It's
ladies' night, I'm down, we get drunk.
- You buy?
- Of course, I buy. What am I, a dick?
She gets drunk, I get drunk,
we go back to my place, right?
Listen to me, Danny,
this chick was insane.
But he gets too drunk.
See, you always let
them drink too much.
No. It is not my fault he got...
Whisky-dick? Shame on you.
Dude, I had to keep up with her
drinking or else I look like a pussy.
It's not my fault my friend
downstairs couldn't keep it together.
You got two ways to
look at whisky-dick.
The con is that your dick is
functionally dysfunctional.
The pro is that your dick gets extra special
attention for his extra special needs.
How much extra special attention
did she have to give you?
It was heaven. She was down
there at least 20 minutes.
Any longer than that and
you might as well charge.
So, I'm pulling out all the stops.
I'm talking dirty, I do handwork...
I put on a goddamn slow jam.
I mean, I am impressing myself.
I am like an EMT crew
reviving a car crash victim.
Do you know what I mean? I'm like a
hairdryer, I am blowing so hard.
But, I must admit, it was
well worth the wait.
Really?
Impressive, but not threatening.
It's like the John
Legend of penises.
- That is impressive.
- Very.
So I'm down there and it is the...
Best head this year.
What?
Thorough, paid attention to detail,
took pride in her work, Danny.
Did she do your taxes as well?
Snarky, but I'll allow it.
Only reason why is because
you been crying in your beer
your ass over a year ago.
I'm taking my time.
You know what your problem is?
You're too damn good-looking, man.
What?
See, guys like me gotta work a
lot harder than guys like you.
Guys like you don't appreciate the
wealth of asses at their disposal.
Best thing that could happen to your
face is an industrial accident.
- Whatever.
- I'm serious.
Dude, you need to go meet
you a nice-looking female,
take her back to your
place, turn her out!
Make her feel things.
You made Joan feel things?
I made her feel like good and
evil hung in the balance,
like we were at peace talks and her
orgasms were the end of genocide.
I saved the world
last night, Danny.
- We appreciate it, brother.
- You're welcome.
Then she was like...
And I'm like...
Stop. Stop, stop.
Yeah, I'm okay. Never mind,
never mind, keep going.
Stop. Stop, stop. Stop, stop.
Motherfucker, I said stop!
Are you deaf, Negro?
And I'm like,
"Well, bitch, which is it?"
I got a charley horse.
Were your legs up around your...
Obviously, which is so annoying,
because I was just about to...
Come on.
I'm like, finish your yoga
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"About Last Night..." Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 22 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/about_last_night..._2152>.