Abbott and Costello in Hollywood Page #5

---

...who'll shove me to the bottom.|- What are you talking about?

I've been up there 14 years.

A newcomer like that could make them|forget about me in 14 weeks.

Now, listen, palsy,|you're as solid as you ever were.

But If that kid's got you worried,|forget about it.

He comes in, I'll give him a brushoff.

Say singers like him are|a nickel a bunch at the studios.

I'll even stake him to a ticket home.

- Okay.|- Come on, fella.

I'll buy you lunch, we'll see|what picture you're gonna do next, eh?

A dirty trick to play on that kid.

- Especially a neighbor of mine.|- A neighbor?

Yeah. Didn't you hear him say|he was from Des Moines?

Ain't that near Paterson, New Jersey?

Des Moines, lowa, is 2000 miles|from Paterson, New Jersey.

Well, can I help it if I got a big backyard?

Wait a minute. That gives me an idea.|From now on, we are agents.

All you have to do is pick up|a telephone. $5000, $ 10,000.

All you got to do|is pick up the phone, get $ 10,000?

- You heard Royce?|- I did.

- Certainly.|- I didn't make a cent.

Put that down.|You've got to have a client first.

We've got a client. The kid.

- Yeah. That boy. Our first client.|- Right.

I want to call up Ruthie,|tell her I'm a millionaire.

- What's wrong with one of these phones?|- Okay. All right.

One of these belongs to Ruthie...

...and the others belong|to some of our customers.

- I think this is Ruthie's right here.|- Go ahead.

- Hello, Ruthie, Ruthie.|- You've got to dial it first.

- I'm in a hurry. I'm in a hurry. Ruthie!|- You've still got to dial it.

Beverly Hills, 5533.

Hello. Hello, who do you want to talk to?

- I wanna talk to Ruthie.|- You want to?

Who do you think you are?|Who do you think you are?

Ruthie's my girlfriend.

She's your girlfriend?

Listen, brother!

You stay away from my girlfriend Ruthie|or I'll punch you in the nose!

You'll punch who in the nose?|I'll punch you in the nose!

This guy's plenty tough.|You better talk to him.

- Talk to this guy.|- What's the matter? You a wise guy?

- You're gonna punch who?|- I'll punch you.

- Not my buddy, you won't.|- Oh, yes, I will!

- No, you won't.|- I'll punch him right in the nose.

Now, wait just a minute.|So you're a wise guy, eh?

- Yeah. Plenty wise.|- Did you ever ride a jackass?

- No.|- Well, you better get onto yourself.

Tough guy over here,|giving insulting remarks.

- I just told him off.|- You did?

Good. I'm going to tell this guy plenty.

- Did you ever ride a jackass?|- No!

Then jump on my back.

What am I saying?|Hey, he's outsmarting me.

- Let me talk to the other guy.|- I'll talk.

- Now, listen here, flabbermouth!|- Flabbermouth?

You heard me.|What makes a balloon go up?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes