Abbott and Costello in Hollywood


Hollywood Shop, barbers to the stars.

Oh, yes, Mr. Gable.

Shave and a manicure?|Just one moment, please.

Jack and Harriet could take you|this afternoon at 5.

Yes, Mr. Gable.

Mr. Gable. Bye.

Hollywood Shop, barbers to the stars.

Oh, Mr. Kavanaugh.|Shave and a manicure?

Here or at the studio?

All right, we'll send Bert and Evelyn.

Oh, Mr. Kavanaugh, I saw|the last picture you directed and...

Well, goodbye.

"We'll send Bert and Evelyn."|What's the matter with Louise?

Ruthie, you know I've been wanting|to do Mr. Kavanaugh for a long time.

Look, dream girl, just because he signed|Claire Warren to a contract...

...doesn't mean he'll sign|every cuticle carver in Hollywood.

He likes the way Evelyn does them,|so Evelyn goes. Period.

Don't you start putting it on for me.|Your roommate signed the contract, not you.

- Listen, I wouldn't try to be so...|- Girls! Girls! Break it up.

Now, my shop is for haircutting,|not for hair pulling.

I'm going to lunch.|By the way, where are those two fatheads?

- Studying. Barber college.|- Where?

In the supply room. I'll get them.

Now, just take it slow and easy,|and don't get excited.

Now, the most important thing is to get|the lather off the customer's face...

...without cutting him.

- I know.|- Go ahead. That's very simple to do.

- Now, try it out.|- Oh, I hope I do it good this time.

There's no reason why you shouldn't.

Take your time. Are you nervous?|That's...

I don't know.

I'm making such a unsuccessful attempt|at this all the time. I don't understand.

- I mean... Where did he go?|- Well, what do you...? Just a minute.

Don't get excited.|What do you expect?

You're buying my course|on how to become a barber, right?

- But I could have done better.|- You've only been here three years.

When I wanted to go to barber school,|you didn't have to stop me from going.

The only thing I wanted from you|was to go to barber school.

What can they teach you in school|that I can't teach you here?

- At least I'd have got my fraternity pin.|- Watch me closely this time.

Now, here. Here's what I want you to do.|Now, just watch. There it is.

- Now...|- He's squawking.

- Now, wait a minute. Stop that.|- Stop squawking.

Please, you're doing enough damage.

Of course, you're going into|a new semester, you know.

- A new what?|- A new semester. That'll be $5 in advance.

Five dollars? Buzz, look.|That's all I got, is $5.

- That'll be fi...|- No!

- Now, please.|- I got a date tonight with Ruthie.

No wonder your nerves are shot. Look at|your hands, just look at your hands.

- Look at how nervous you are.|- Cut it out.

- You're shaking my hand.|- Am I doing that?

- Am I touching you? No, certainly not.|- I'm nervous.

It's your nerves. Give me the $5. There.

- Watch me closely this time.|- Hurry up, I wanna graduate.

Now, first of all, we lather it up.|Notice it?

- Yeah.|- Now we take the razor.

- That's the razor. You know that.|- Yeah.

Yes. Now we take the razor.

Quiet, quiet, quiet.|Now, just watch me closely.

- Are you watching?|- Yeah, I was watching very close.

That's what I want you to do.

Look how simple it is, look.|See that? There you are.

- Any way you want, just tear it off.|- All right.

- Yeah, that's good. That's good.|- Simple enough.

- That's very good.|- That's up to you now.

Put some lather on there.|I'll show you fancy stuff.

There's your razor. Go ahead.

- There you are. Go right ahead.|- All right, it's my turn, right?

- All right.|- Now it's yours.

- What are you doing?|- Get my diploma ready. I'm gonna graduate.

- Just a minute, please. Are you...?|- Nothing happened, huh?

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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