A Walk in the Woods Page #4

This is my wife.

You're the British nurse

I've heard so much about.

- I certainly hope so.

- Yeah.

Good to meet you.

That's a little bit like a bear hug.

Are you limping?

Oh, that's a titanium knee,

and this one's a trick knee, you know.

- BRYSON:
Oh.

- Let me see, I've got to get...

(GRUNTING)

(CRANKING VENDING MACHINE)

I gotta eat every hour or so,

otherwise I get these, uh...

- What, episodes?

- No, no, they're...

- BRYSON:
Seizures?

- Seizures, that's right.

- You get seizures?

- Mmm-hmm.

Yeah. You know, I ate some contaminated

phenethylamines about 10 years ago,

and it totally jacked up my system,

you know.

- I thought you said you were in shape?

- I am.

KATZ:
So the two of them take off

on a motorbike

and we have no choice but to hitchhike

all the way back to San Sebastian.

We go into the first pub, and boom,

there they are.

So, six hours later

we stumble out to the beach,

and Bryson insists on

having the pretty girl,

- of course, the redhead.

- Ooh.

And I get the horse-faced blonde, you know.

Uh, Bryson!

I can't believe... Come on, sit.

I can't believe

you never told Cathy about Spain.

Oh, it must have slipped my mind.

Hmm, I wonder why?

Anyway, the next day

we're on a train to Madrid.

Bryson goes to the head

and I don't pay any attention to it,

and he's in there a long time.

Finally, I look up,

and he's coming out toward the seat

and he's just scratching and scratching...

- Got it. Got it.

- (CATHERINE EXCLAIMING)

I said to him,

"Hey, Bryson, what's going on?"

And he says,

"Next time you can have the red-head".

(SAM LAUGHING AWKWARDLY)

- Is there a picture of the red-head?

- KATZ:
I think so.

I'd like to see the redhead.

I'd love to see the red-head.

- That's a really great story.

- CATHERINE:
She's not in here.

- Thank you for sharing that with my family.

- CATHERINE:
Where is she?

Well, I have more of them, Bryson.

No, no, that's great.

- No, no, I think we should have a few more.

- All right.

We were in Nice, and Bryson goes to this

very famous hotel there

called The Mayflower...

(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)

(GASPS)

Mmm, the Cubbies.

(LAUGHS)

(SIGHS)

Oh, decomposed.

Oh, my God.

(CHUCKLING)

(GRUNTING)

(PLAYING TUNE)

You still playing that thing?

Oh, yeah. Not good, but I'm playing.

(CHUCKLES)

How about you, still playing the drums?

Oh, God, no. I gave that up years ago.

Oh.

Is that your daughter?

- Yeah.

- Takes after her mother. Lucky break there.

(BOTH LAUGHS)

- How many grandchildren in all?

- Three, and another one on the way.

You really pulled it off, Bryson.

You know?

No, I mean that. I'm happy for you.

Well, how about you, Stephen?

You... You been okay?

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