A Very Sordid Wedding Page #3

big-titty doctor who was

tryin' to de-homosexualize me

at the loony bin?

I do indeed, I did not care for her.

Yeah, well, Doctor Eve is

in Mama's coffin, not Mama.

And she tries to get him to well, to fu...

To have carnal relations with me.

Right there in the church house?

[Earl] Yes, in Mama's coffin.

It was so frightening.

You do know what today's

date is, don't you?

Thursday.

Ah, Mama's death date.

She died 17 years ago.

She's haunting me because, Sissy, she never

wanted me to be happy.

Oh, sweet baby Jesus, how time flies.

Seems like just yesterday

that Peggy tripped over

them wooden legs and hit her

head on that nasty old sink

at the Galaxy Motel

while havin' that affair

with G.W. Nethercott.

[phone line ringing]

[Latrelle] Hello, sweet boy.

Hey, Mama, I'm callin' you from Dallas.

Dallas, you're so close.

Did you finish your, um,

marriage tour thingamajig?

Yes, ma'am, this last

part is what I like to call

the "weeping and gnashing

of teeth" part of the tour.

Uh-huh, well, y'all sure

did get a lot of press.

That was the point.

Yes, great for your cause,

not always easy on

mothers in Winters, Texas.

Well, I'm sorry that

exposing bigotry has caused

you such grief, Mama.

Oh, don't worry about it.

I'm used to being gossiped about by now,

but how come you're in Dallas

and I'm just now findin' out?

Kyle's up for a big job at

Mitchell Gold, Bob Williams,

head design associate.

And he gets to choose

between Dallas and Atlanta.

Oh, choose Dallas.

I could come up there and shop.

Kyle gets family discounts, right?

I need a new chaise, in taupe.

We'll get right on that.

And you can visit Winters often.

Yes that would be, just horrible.

Although, maybe we could make

Texas number 50, in Winters.

And you could throw us our wedding,

that would certainly

get lots of attention.

Oh, aren't these flowers pretty?

It's your nan-aunt's death date.

I'm in the cemetery as we speak.

I wish you were here but,

you'll always find a reason

not to visit Winters.

I just gave you a reason

for me to come home

and you changed the subject.

Oh, let's not fight, Ty.

You know I love you, I do,

and I'm really happy that you and Kyle

have found each other. I just, well,

it's just not exactly

the kind of wedding

that I always envisioned.

Me neither, because I never

thought it was possible,

because I was taught by you,

- and everybody else...

- [fingers snapping]

Okay, you're right, you're

right, let's change the subject,

um, 'cause I've been saving

the big news, and I mean big.

Hey, Latrelle, what would

you prefer to be called:

grandma, me-ma, nana,

or my personal favorite,

because you're so glamorous, glama?

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