A Royal Scandal Page #5

Is it possible that sometimes you

not only keep the secret, but also the money?

- Does Your Majesty imply that I am stealing?

- Yes.

That, I most emphatically deny.

I've carried out Your Majesty's orders

to do everything for the welfare of the people.

It may be that, once in a while,

I included myself with the people.

Nicolai Illytch, if all these accusations are true,

you'll have to be shot.

Five times.

Why doesn't Your Majesty investigate?

I'm afraid you might be guilty, Nicolai.

And I need you.

Your Majesty can easily find someone

as capable as I am.

You're lying again, Nicolai.

It would be very difficult to find anyone

as clever as you.

And he might steal even more.

But please, Nicolai, take it easy.

Thank you, Your Majesty.

With Your Majesty's guidance,

our government has been very successful.

Otherwise, why would a powerful country

like France try to make an alliance with us?

I'm not so sure I want to make an alliance. I...

Look! What's that man doing on the roof?

- Man on the roof? Where?

- On the roof!

On the roof?

I wish I could see that far. Probably a workman.

- Why is he wearing a uniform?

- Is he?

- Very strange, isn't it?

- Well, not to me.

Your Majesty,

people standing on the roof don't worry me,

it's people in cellars with candles

stuck in vodka bottles that I'm concerned about.

But a man standing on the roof in sunlight...

- Shut up.

- Yes, Your Majesty.

Tell me,

what do we need an alliance with France for?

- To protect our back.

- You think the Prussians may attack us again?

They always do. And they will,

when we get into trouble with the Turks.

- What do we want from the Turks?

- The Crimea.

What do we need with the Crimea?

We have enough territory.

It would be nice to have

a little peninsula on the Black Sea.

Exactly, Your Majesty.

And I don't think the Turkish sultan

will wrap up that peninsula in silver paper

and hang it on Your Majesty's Christmas tree.

- I don't want to be pushed into any war.

- No, Your Majesty.

- I don't want war!

- No, Your Majesty.

- I hate war, do you understand me?

- Yes, Your Majesty.

I humbly apologise. I shart bring it up again.

I take cognisance of the fact that Your Majesty,

once and for all,

has definitely given up the idea of the Crimea.

I never said any such thing, and you know it!

Stop being too clever. Of course we need a port

on the Black Sea, and badly.

- Then we'll have to take the Crimea.

- Are you pushing me again? Stop it!

- Call in the French ambassador.

- Yes, Your Majesty.

- Look!

- Is that man still standing on the roof?

- No, he seems to be gone.

- Oh, that's good. I'm glad.

What are those soldiers doing up there?

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