A Long Way Down Page #4

Yeah.

Hang on. Maureen, just a

f***ing question here.

Have we just written our

pact on the back of your

- suicide note?

- Oh...

Yes, there is that.

My mum always likes to repeat

this story of me as a kid

being asked what I wanted

to be when I grew up.

I always used to say, "Invisible."

I don't know quite what prompted it,

but the thought of it stuck with me.

It was only later...

that I found out that invisibility is,

in fact, a technical possibility.

It was in this book that my

sister stole from the library

and I stole from my sister.

I followed her into crime.

Though she was better

at it than me.

She always sort of glowed innocence

whereas I, to this day,

just sort of radiate guilt.

Anyway, to be invisible is easy.

You just have to find a

way to diffract light.

Whoa! You trying to

get yourself killed?

I haven't managed it yet,

but I'm working on it.

I didn't just follow him.

I followed all of them.

And it wasn't stalking.

You stalk a deer in

order to kill it,

mount it, stick it on your wall and

tell the story of how f***ing brilliant

you are with a shotgun.

I didn't want to kill any of them.

I certainly didn't have any

interest in mounting them.

And I don't own a shotgun,

though I'd like one.

I just wanted to

check in, invisibly,

to check they were

sticking to the pact.

That's not stalking.

It's barely even espionage.

OK.

Now I know why you're ringing.

Pink flamingos fly

north on Tuesday.

Hello, Jess.

This is a top spy location, Dad.

It's hugely inconspicuous.

Look, um...

Where have you...?

This is a situation.

I've invited...

A situation is what you're

referring to it as?

How else would you refer to it?

I don't know, Dad.

Well, you did what you did.

Yeah, I tried to kill myself.

Jess, please don't put

words in my mouth.

This is hard enough.

- Is it, Dad?

- Yes.

Why are we doing this here?

Why can't we just do this at home?

Because the press will be there

and I'm trying to protect you.

Oh, yeah. Well, you've always been

really great at that, haven't you?

- Jess...

- What the hell are you doing here?

Uh...

- I was invited.

- You were invited?

Politician's daughter.

I was surprised.

I called his agent.

I thought we should all talk.

- You called his agent?

- Yeah.

He was delighted.

First call he'd had in awhile.

Was it you... Who

went to the press?

No!

I've been trying to figure

it out myself, but...

JJ?

He's too shy.

It's not Maureen.

No, no.

Hey, it was f***ing Chas.

Chas sold us.

My ex-wife rang this morning,

wanting to know what I'd done.

Asking me what she should

tell the children.

Oh, I'm gonna f***ing kill him.

She told me I seem to be the

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