A Guy Thing Page #5
Nobody touch anything.|Don't disturb the crime scene.
This isn't a crime scene.
There's your culprit, Daddy.
It might be a raccoon.|I'll get my salt gun.
I'll check on Paul.|I hope he's feeling better.
Pretty exciting, huh?
Paul?
Yeah.
Paul, honey, it's Mom!
Did you eat something spicy?|You know how you get.
I got you in my sights.
How'd you like a little|rock salt up your ass?
Holy sh*t!
Are you all right?
I'm fine!
Honey, just let it come out.
Don't push so hard.
It's almost there.
- Oh, my God.|- It's bad.
What's going on up here?
- Paul's not feeling well.|- Stuck on the crapper?
Yeah! Do you think|I can get some...
...privacy, please?
Better.
How about some|peach cobbler, everybody?
I'd kill for some diarrhea.
I haven't had|a bowel movement in 14 days.
We'll see you guys in a bit.
- Better hide the silver.|- I'll walk you to your car.
I'm so disappointed|that you didn't see Paul.
I'll meet Paul later this week.
Definitely.|I'm so sorry about all this.
- Good night.|- Good night, Becky.
How are you feeling?
OK, I guess.|Is everyone gone?
Too bad.|I'm starting to feel better.
It's better you get sick now|than on Saturday.
That's exactly right.
I just hope|it's out of my system now.
Typical. Forgot my purse.
Becky! Here he is!
This is Paul,|my husband-to-be.
Hi, Becky. Nice to meet you.
So nice to meet you, Paul.
All lies, I'm sure.
Probably.
You look so familiar.
I get that all the time.
Right?
- You do?|- Yeah.
I'll see you this weekend.
Can't wait. OK.
Nice to meet you.
So that's Cousin Becky?
Yeah.|She's gotten so weird.
No, that's mean.|She's so all over the place.
One week|she's working here...
the next week,|she's working there.
Now she's working at some|record store on Broad Street.
I do feel sorry for her, though.
How come?
Her ex-boyfriend, Ray Donovan.|What a psycho.
It's amazing how fragile|the human body is.
- Don't you think?|- Yes, sir.
Shut the f*** up!
Come on, Ray.|Guy just stole a doughnut.
That's where it starts, Ernie!
How you doing?
Well, hello, fellas.
Ray.
Special delivery.
That's a little disheartening.
No, no, no!
You did not sleep|with her cousin.
I didn't know|she was her cousin.
Why would you sleep with anyone?
When you have Karen,|who's so stunning...
and witty and delectable...
and has|those little dimples...
- Pete.|- What? You are a moron!
How is it? Is it smoking?
If you don't love it...
I have double-breasted white one|sitting on the runway.
Talk about a burning-hot look!
Ahmed, that's fine.|This is great.
- Thanks.|- Word.
Anyway, she was cool about it.
Was she drunk?
- What do you mean?|- Wait till she's drunk.
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"A Guy Thing" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 11 Jun 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/a_guy_thing_1922>.
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