30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

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It's about to come, it's about to come,

it's about to come.

In your face, in your hair.

I can't believe

you bid $1200 for this.

I have a really good feeling

about this. Trust me.

Yes you bought this all.

And now you're rollin' in this heap.

But you paid you paid.

You paid for this dirty Berber rug.

Which isn't actually so bad...

because I think you can get

these stains out with a little club soda.

This is all worthless.

Keep looking. We'll find something.

Bingo. Shh.

This is ridiculous, Michelle,

it's such a waste of time.

What's that?

"Found footage" that we found.

Wouldn't it be amazing if it was one of those

celebrity sex tapes and we could sell.

My God, my God. Put it in.

All right.

Carlsbad Police, what's your emergency?

Excuse me?

- Ma'am, what's your emergency?

- I'm a man, douche bag.

My voice is altered because

I've got 8 demons in me...

all taking turns to speak.

- Anyway, I killed 5 people.

- I'm sorry?

I served them 6-inch tuna subs

that I wiped my ass with.

- They all died from toxoplasmosis.

- Who?

The entire cast of The Artist

including that dog Uggie.

What?

Send the police, jerk-off.

And if you're hungry,

I still have half a sandwich left.

The Carlsbad community

was leveled by tragedy today...

as 3 clergy members

were found dead.

there was a call into our office

in a facsimile...

saying that there may have been

or might be a murder situation.

But we cannot confirm or deny

that the cast of the film The Artist...

has been murdered

in the basement of this house.

I, myself, am not a fan of the film.

Didn't really get it.

Hi, my name is Dana Rosti

and we're shooting a documentary.

Why are you shooting a documentary?

Well, when I was 10 years old...

my father murdered some people

in our basement.

And I just found out that he murdered them

while an exorcism was being performed.

On him.

By clowns.

Without his pants.

I'm sorry, can we stop for a second?

After 6 months of going to trial,

my dad was proven not guilty...

based on insanity,

but I didn't believe that.

Wait a minute.

Yeah! Aah! Aah!

It's the Olympics. Whoo!

Ooh! Hello.

How about a 5-way?

A year later, he was transferred to one of the

top psychiatric facilities in the world...

which happens to be in Italy,

which is, like, in a whole other country.

- Are we recording?

- We're on.

- And this is camera 1?

- Yeah.

And this is camera 2?

And this is the Steadicam.

And this is my 3D camera?

And this is my motion-capture camera?

Okay.

Let's do this.

You came on a very good day today,

Miss Rosti.

Your father is in very high spirits.

Italy had cutting-edge equipment,

brilliant doctors.

I need 3 CCs

of marinara, stat.

So listen, there's a good chance

he might not even remember you.

Okay.

Don't take offense to that.

It's just part of the disease.

Right.

Okay.

Let's just go

with one camera, okay? Great.

Dad? Do you remember me?

Connect the dots.

Connect the dots. Connect the dots.

Connect the dots.

Connecticut. No, dumb-ass.

Connect the dots.

I'd rather play Candy Land or Jenga

or something...

I'd rather play Connect the Dots

and Dana Shut Up.

Okay.

Great. Now, give me your phone.

What? Give me your phone.

Give me your phone. Give me your phone.

I'm getting it out of my purse.

Give me your phone.

And, bam!

You just bought me 2 Taiwanese hookers

for the price of one on Croupon.

Listen, I came here because I have

to tell you something really important.

Shh.

Dad. Now, get out of here!

I ain't got time for you no more.

"Out," he said. Away with you.

Out. I'm a pretty princess.

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