22 Jump Street Page #4

What's going on?

Did you say the Yangs?

Yeah, dad's Chinese, man.

Our mom's not Chinese.

She's black.

Oh. She's like real black.

Like Wesley snipes black.

Exactly.

We're brothers, too.

No. He's not kidding.

He's serious.

Oh, really?

What? Like, one of y'all older?

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, 'cause you got crow's

feet under your eyes, man.

You specifically.

We're actually just

normal college age.

I mean, even if you're a little

older, that's cool, man,

because, you know, girls

here love older dudes.

That's true.

Plus, there's mad

fuckable girls here.

Mad fuckable. Especially

during spring break.

I love spring break.

But I do have to say,

I've f***ed a

thousand girls by now

and I don't know, at

the end of the day,

you just kind of want something

that's just a little

deeper really.

Yeah, balls deeper. Jinx.

Buy me a coke.

Oh, snap, we're still saying the

same thing. This is amazing!

Carrots. Pumpernickels.

Glow sticks. Twins!

That's dope, dude.

That's so sick.

That's crazy. We have that

brother connection, too.

You ready? Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

Pirates! Baby feet! Paper clips!

Bananas!

Sun! Anger! I don't know! Words!

Quicksand! Shoes!

Boom!

That's hip-hop, man. Awesome.

That's great.

It's Gonna be super fun.

All right? Same as last time.

Dude, if it's like last time,

you're Gonna have an awesome time,

and it's Gonna suck for me.

No. You're Gonna have

an awesome time, too,

because I'm Gonna

make sure of it.

You took a bullet for me.

That's right, I did, and it

sucked, but I'd do it again.

No way. It's my turn. I

owe you a life debt.

Co-ed bathrooms.

What? Oh, sh*t.

I'm not Gonna take a sh*t

the entire time I'm here.

I know.

Hey. How you doing?

Hey.

What's up? 'Sup?

Just exhausted from

inventing Facebook

or whatever website

people our age use.

They still have books?

I thought they just put the

books inside the computers.

Yeah, I guess the kids just use

the stacks to hide and have sex.

So we'll go to all Cynthia's

classes and activities,

ask around about the drug

and find out who the dealer is.

Yeah, it's just like last time.

Exactly like last time.

Dude, in human sexuality,

do you get to f***

or do you just get to

watch people f***?

Neither.

What the f*** am I

taking it for, then?

Now, obviously, we've all

heard this statement before,

I've got a first

impression for you.

Oh, y'all like psychology?

Tracy Morgan.

Nobody?

Work hard, play

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