22 Jump Street

Synopsis: After making their way through high school (twice), big changes are in store for officers Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Jenko (Channing Tatum) when they go deep undercover at a local college. But when Jenko meets a kindred spirit on the football team, and Schmidt infiltrates the bohemian art major scene, they begin to question their partnership. Now they don't have to just crack the case - they have to figure out if they can have a mature relationship. If these two overgrown adolescents can grow from freshmen into real men, college might be the best thing that ever happened to them.
Production: Sony Pictures
  7 wins & 24 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
112 min


You're a f***ing nerd.

Boy, you lucky you

even graduating.

- F***!

- Oh!

You're good at this, huh? Yeah.

You're really good at this.


Hey, you want to be friends?

Yours isn't loaded, right?

Just touch it. I'm scared.

Just touch it.

Seriously. All right,

all right, all right.

You took a bullet for me, man.

You shot me in the dick!

Boom, motherfuckers!

You two sons of b*tches

are going to college!

Yin is characterized

as slow, soft, passive

and is associated with

water and femininity.

While, Yang, by contrast,

is fast and solid and...

Man, this is BS.

I thought we were going to actual

college, not online college.

Listening for coded

messages in lectures.

What are you talking about?

Look around.

This is our city.

What do we want to

be in college for?

You're right.

Partners for life.

At Metro city port, the

tide comes in at 10:30 A.M.

Then it will return to the sea.

Metro port. One hour.

let's do this.

Turn down for what

turn down for what

surprise. There's two more arms.

turn down for what

turn down for what

- sh*t! That's the ghost.

- The ghost?

Joste Nillsen,

biggest trafficker of illegal

goods in Metro city.

He teamed up with

a Mexican cartel

and they're running all

this sh*t through the port.

What the hell are we

supposed to be buying?

I don't know.

What are you doing? Huh?

I got a new identity

that's Gonna be killer.

I'll be throwing it to

you to make it legit.


I'm Gonna need you to improvise.


I don't want to improvise.

I'm Gonna need you to improvise.

I suck at improvising.

I don't want to do it.

I need absolute silence while

I fall into character.

I need absolute silence while

I fall into character.

Can you give me a

head start on...

I need absolute... I

need absolute silence.

Can you please...

Absolute silence.

Are you f***ing

serious right now?

All right. I hate

people who are late.

We're trying to

see that product.


Yo, sleepy! What's up, homie?

You know my cousin, sad boy.

I think you got the

wrong guy, homes.

Oh, that's bullshit, man!

You sleepy!

Everyone say in the barrio,

"sleepy, he like the Mexican

Wolverine" and sh*t.

Hey, my partner here, he

want to see the product.

Why ain't he talking?

My name is Jeff.

That's Jeffe, man.

Tell 'em about mousie's

quinceanera, man.

Tell 'em about that crazy

adventure you guys had.

I don't know what

you're talking about.

Oh, man, when you were telling

the story last night,

you had so much detail!

The detail was so rich!

It was rich detail!

Go into incredibly

descriptive details

of the story, so we all know.

Oh, yes.

It was Dora and Diego

and Swiper.


Who was that you

choked out, man?

He had it coming! Who was that?


No, man, that wasn't boots!

Boots isn't a real name!

You got to tell them

the real story, man.

Start over from the top.

That's a made-up name.

I can't believe the punks I

have to deal with these days.

It really makes

me miss the '90s,

when we had

professionals around.

You want to check out the goods?

Check it out.

And shut up. Right?

Where'd you find

this gringo, man?

At the f***ing Mumford &

sons concert and sh*t?

What is it? Guns? Drugs?

No! No!

Dude! It's gross!

It's inking in my mouth!

I'll get it off.

Its tentacle is eating me!

It's so strong! It's

really on there, man.

It's biting my face!


Black market exotic animals, just

like we expected to be in there.

The accents are gone, huh?

Take them out, guys.

They're cops.

What was that? I don't know!

I think we're moving.

Rate this script:(3.00 / 1 vote)

Michael Bacall

Michael Bacall (born Michael Stephen Buccellato; April 19, 1973) is an American screenwriter and actor, known for having co-written the films Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, 21 Jump Street, and Project X. more…

All Michael Bacall scripts | Michael Bacall Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "22 Jump Street" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 29 May 2022. <https://www.scripts.com/script/22_jump_street_1643>.

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