21 & Over Page #5

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- He's not being a b*tch.

- Dude, yeah, he is.

Honestly, I feel like he thinks that

he's too good for us and it's like,

"Bro, you're a nerd."

He's not a nerd.

He's our friend.

You're lucky to be hanging out

with us because we're awesome.

Dude, he's just trying

to be happy.

So, you leave for

Brazil tomorrow?

Yes, and then Chile,

Ecuador and Argentina.

What about you? What are you

doing for spring break?

I have a two week externship

at J.P. Morgan.

It's private equity stuff.

It's pretty cool.

- You know? It's not that cool.

- Wait.

So, on the last spring break of

your entire life, you're working?

Yeah, why? Aren't we supposed

to be starting our lives?

- Did your mom tell you that?

- Yeah, my mom did tell me that.

- She did?

- Yeah. Why you hating on my mama?

No, it's just...

I mean, look around. OK?

In ten years, everyone in this

bar will be married with kids,

driving to some boring job

in a f***ing minivan.

I mean, we got to do as much crazy

sh*t as we can before then.

No, yeah, exactly.

I totally agree.

We're not too big on crazy here,

are we?

What? No, I'm a huge

proponent of the crazy.

Are you kidding?

I'm the mayor of Crazyville.

- Oh, my God, you're such a dork.

- No! Are you...?

What? Check it. Look, V-neck

sweater with an un-tucked shirt.

My sh*t is bananas, girl.

I'm just saying, the point is, is that

he's changed and I can tell

that you're upset by it.

- I'm not upset. I'm not.

- Yeah, you are.

OK, whatever, message received.

I'm gonna talk to him.

- Dude, no.

- This can't go on. He's hurting you.

- He's hurting both of us.

- You don't need to talk to him.

Holy sh*t, dude!

- F*** me!

That's awesome.

It went all the way through.

I can see it.

Oh, my God. Hey, hey...

Oh, my God, I am so sorry, man.

- I'm so sorry.

- Problem, homeboy?

- No, no. Here, let me take a look.

- Get your hands off me!

- I'm gonna be a medical student. I'll just check...

- Back off!

- Hey, hey, hey! Step Up, 3D. Take a step back.

- Miller, help me.

- You want to fight?

- Calm down. Nobody wants to dance, OK?

- It was an accident.

- Sorry, we won't touch you. It was an accident.

Oh, well, guys, I guess

it was just an accident.

You know, my face

doesn't even hurt anymore,

now that I know that

it's an accident.

I mean, accidents, they happen all

the time when you're drinking.

People get hit by things

like flying darts...

- What's happening?

- ...and flying stools.

What are you doing with the bar stool?

What, you're gonna throw it at us?

Jesus Christ, man! Are you OK?

Now if I ever see

you f***ing tampons again,

I will come at you like

a f***ing spider monkey!

I'll rip your face off, b*tch.

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