21 & Over Page #4

---

lined up after graduation.

- What?

- You got a f***ing job?

Yeah. I'm working for

Newbury Capital in New York.

- Dude, congrats, that's a great firm!

- Thanks, JeffChang. See?

Yeah, awesome. What about

Sidewinder at The Gorge, Casey?

I'll think about it, all right?

That's all I'm saying.

- Yeah. You're selfish. That's bullshit.

Jeff! Jeff!

Oh, Nicole!

- Holy sh*t, game on.

- Hey, how are you doing?

- Happy birthday!

Hey. Meet my oldest friends,

Miller, Casey.

We used to tear sh*t up

in high school.

Casey.

Nice to meet you, Nicole.

Wow, that's quite a firm shake.

That's 'cause he

masturbates a lot.

Oh, yeah? Me too. I can't get to

sleep without flicking the bean.

What? Wow, I guess we already have

a lot in common. That's great.

Yeah, I masturbate a lot, too.

- He does.

- Like a lot.

- Oh.

- At weird places too, like malls,

bathrooms, handicap stalls.

They're bigger.

Name some more spots

you jerk off in, Miller.

Sometimes I wear flannel.

Made me feel like a lumberjack.

- What the f***?

- I am so sorry for him.

I don't even know you.

I feel terrible.

What are you talking about? I feel like

she's picking up what I'm putting down.

- Oh.

- Yeah, but then again, she's putting it down again.

But then she picks it back up.

I feel like she'd never

really pick it up twice.

OK, look, I'm just gonna ask.

Who would you rather...?

- Him.

- Oh, my God.

- OK, it's over. It's over.

Oh, my God. This is embarrassing.

That's fine, that's fine. F*** you

all, I'm gonna go play some darts.

Have a really boring life

with my boring friend Casey,

- who played the flute in band.

- Shh.

OK, thanks, buddy. Enjoy.

Wow. Thank you for that.

Oh, my God.

- Here, sit down.

- You're welcome. Thank you.

So, um...

So, that's your friend?

Yeah, we were best friends

back in high school,

- but we're not really that close anymore.

- Yeah.

Your oldest friends are always

your weirdest friends, right?

- Yeah, what is that about?

- I don't know.

People change when

they go to college, right?

Like, I'm sure he wasn't that big

of an idiot back in high school.

No, actually, that's exactly how

big of an idiot he was, yeah.

- Hundred percent same amount of idiot.

- Really? OK.

Yeah. So you're in, uh, Sigma...

Zeta...

- ...circle with a line in it.

- Oh, OK.

- I get it, you're not in a frat?

- No.

- 'Cause I'm not angry and secretly gay.

- Wow!

So, what are you drinking?

Oh, dude, I'm so glad you guys

came. I really needed this.

- My dad's been driving me crazy.

Yeah man, we love you.

- We wouldn't miss it for anything.

- Miller!

Honestly, I'm sorry Casey's being

such a little b*tch, though.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote