17 Again Page #4

think about sucking me into this with you.

Hayden was the low point

of my existence...

...and I vowed I would never go back

to that godforsaken place!

Never, ever, ever!

Never! Never, ever, ever!

I hate you.

Hello.

I'm here to enroll my son...

...in school.

Mark.

What's up?

So...

So we'll just have a seat

till you're ready for us.

We'll be right, uh... Okay.

What's this you're wearing?

This is cool. This is hip. I have a picture

of Kevin Federline wearing the same thing.

- I don't know who that is.

- What are you wearing?

- I told you, like a dad.

- I am.

- You look like Clay Aiken.

- Leave him out of this.

Are you sure these look legit?

- Oh, yeah. Look who you're talking to.

I'm the guy who invented the software

that prevents people from stealing music.

I also invented the software

that helps people steal music...

...but that's a happy coincidence.

What is that?

Oh, my G...

- Wrong. These are for me.

- You kidding?

- What's-her-name and Chewie's for me.

- Miss Masterson will see you now.

Let's go.

Just don't try to be funny, all right?

Say as little as possible.

Hey, watch where you're going, toolbag.

- So sorry, sir. Our fault.

- Stan.

Hello. I'm Jane Masterson,

principal here at Hayden High.

Hi.

Hello.

Hi.

- Hi.

Uh, okay.

Yeah, I think we're good here.

Sorry.

I think our hands just made a baby.

Excuse my dad. He's not used to

talking to attractive women.

Oh, thank you...

- Mark.

Mark...

...for that flattering

yet totally inappropriate comment.

Please sit.

Before we get started, I think you should

know that, uh, Mark's a bastard.

Excuse me?

I had him out of wedlock, so...

...I'm single.

And I'm very rich.

Okay.

- Did you bring your transcripts?

- Oh, yeah.

Transcripts.

Last school you went to was

Cutler High in Connecticut.

Straight-A student. Very impressive.

Math club...

...National Merit finalist...

...Coney Island

Hot Dog Eating Champion.

Well, I think Hayden

would be lucky to have you.

- Welcome.

- Thank you.

Uh, yes, Mr. Gold.

Do you have a question?

Your hair is pretty.

Ah. Not a question, but thank you.

Would the lady mind if I smelled it?

Now is probably a good time to tell you

that I don't date students' parents.

Well, maybe I should tell you that I never

don't not date the principal of my child.

Okay, come on, Dad. Come on, Dad.

Let's go.

I was about to close!

You have to do it right now?

Just calm down. You're a dad.

- Hi. Oh, my gosh. We're in.

- You see her undress me with her eyes?

I don't think that's what that was.

Hey. Wow. I don't know how we did it.

It's Maggie's friends. Watch this.

- Hey, girls, how's it going?

Do I know you?

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