17 Again Page #2

it's not how big you are.

It's how big you play.

Right up here.

Uh, Maggie got into Georgetown.

Maggie, that's awesome.

Can you turn down the?

Okay, guys, see you soon.

Love you. Nice chatting with you.

What the hell are you doing?

Hey, that's my stuff.

Why are you destroying our yard?

It's not our yard. It's my yard, remember?

You took the road not taken.

And I get the yard.

I'm going to turn it into a showpiece

for my clients.

- Clients of what?

- Landscape design.

Landscape design?

I'm going to show people what I can do.

Yeah, well, the divorce isn't final for

another two weeks, so you have no right.

Really? So I've spent the last 18 years

of my life listening to you whine...

...about the things you could've done

without me, and I have no right?

- It's just I put a lot of work into this yard.

- Did you?

Really? Like the barbeque pit?

Yeah.

Yeah. The way I remember that is that

you spent about an hour working on it...

...and then you spent the next two days

complaining about...

...if you had gone to college,

you could've hired someone to do it.

- I don't think it was a whole two days.

- Or the hammock over here.

Yeah.

I think you quit that one because

you just decided not to try anymore.

Look, try to see things

from my point of view.

I am extremely disappointed with my life.

I never asked you to marry me.

Yeah, but I did.

Well...

...you don't have to do me

any more favors, then.

We're not going to hold each

other back anymore, okay?

- Scar...

- I'll see you at court, okay? At the trial.

Scarlet.

Naomi!

- You came.

Of course I came.

What bridesmaid would I be if I

didn't hold your hand during the divorce?

Now, just remember.

The first one's always the hardest.

- Mike.

- Naomi.

- Naomi.

- I don't care.

Let's get going. We got to get you ready.

Back on the market.

Yeah, I'm a real catch.

Single mom with two teenage kids

and manure caked under my fingernails.

You'll do great. You got the butt

of a 12-year-old boy.

That's terrific.

I hope our daughter heard that.

Ugh. When was the last time you waxed?

Bye, Mike.

Bye.

MAN:

You're sure about that?

Jesus.

Hey! Get off of there!

Oh, no. Hello?

Hello?! Hello?!

What the?

Oh, no!

Oh, man.

Ned?

Thief!

No, no, no, Ned!

Ned, no, no, no! It's me!

Stop! Stop!

Ned?

Oh, wow. I feel great.

Ha, ha.

What are you doing? No, Ned.

- Aah! Aah!

- No.

No, no, no, Ned!

Ned! Come on! It's me, it's Mike!

Ned, Ned, Ned, I'm telling you,

I'm telling you, stop it! Stop it! Now!

Oh.

An elegant weapon...

...from a more civilized time.

Hey, it's me! It's Mike O'Donnell,

your best friend!

You have an undescended testicle.

Googleable!

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote