13 Demons Page #7

The path to the right, to the

frozen caverns of Morgash.

Roll a three, you take

the path on the right.

Roll a four, you take

the path on the left.

Would you like a dram?

- Do not lie to us, paladin.

Do not bring mistrust

within this group.

- You've reached the carpenters.

Leave a message after the tone

and we'll get back to

you as soon as possible.

Thank you.

- Hello, mother.

Hello, father.

I come bearing good news.

I'm now a member of

the knight's order.

A part of the brotherhood,

the golden paladins,

the chosen ones.

The chosen ones to vanquish

all evil from this realm.

This is my destiny.

I know you always

haven't been proud of me,

but finally, I found my way

in life, I found my light.

I go into battle tonight.

There is a good chance,

though, that I may not return.

If I do not return,

think better of me.

Think better of me, for

I have brought honor

to our family name.

I love you.

Look at me, foul demon.

- Dude, we're closed.

I'm just tryin' to finish up.

Dude, we're closing.

I just wanna go home.

Can you please leave?

We're closed, all right?

- Please decrease

your level of interest

from that metal chariot.

For I am one of the golden

paladins of the knight's order.

- Dude, what the f***?

- A divine one.

- Hey dick, looks like

you got everything done

but the paperwork, again.

- I've come to slay thee,

foul demon of the apocalypse.

- What's this then?

- Fight me.

Fight me, you filth.

Fight me.

Fight me, if you're so bold.

- What's this?

- Some crazy f***in'

pothead, I don't know.

- Well get him outta here.

- Dude, f***in' leave.

- Are you ready to do

battle, foul demon?

Remove yourself from the

confines of your citadel

and approach me.

- You wanna f***in' go?

- You're as cowardly

as you are ugly.

- Dude, keep going, I dare you.

Keep f***ing going.

- You're as gutless

as your b*tch mother

that gave birth to you

from the depths of Hades.

- What did you just say to me?

- Flee before me.

Flee back to oblivion to

suckle on your mother's teat.

- The f*** did you

say about my mother?

- Go back to oblivion to

suck on your mother's teat.

- I'll f***in' kill you, dude.

- Prepare for combat.

- Police are

blaming the recent murders

on an insurgence of the

fantasy role-playing board game

13 demons.

The game was banned 30 years ago

due to excessively

violent murders

perpetrated by players

who were convinced they

were living in the game.

When questioned, the players

admitted to the murders,

stating they were slaying demons

in order to advance in the game.

Victims were killed by blunt

force trauma to the head.

One suspect stated, we must

strike them in the head

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