$elfie Shootout Page #3

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selfie girlfriends

and we're gonna move out!

That is what

I call intelligence.

It's foolproof!

We are calling it

the "selfie shootout."

Any babes yet?

No.

The idea's not that great.

Holy mother of all that is

sweet and "voluptuous!"

- What? -Selfie in... paid.

And she's hot.

I can see her, too!

It works.

How can we not get rich?

Oh, we can.

Or is it "can't"?

How can we not

get our own place?

Can and can't?

How can we not get girlfriends?

Can and can't.

How can we not become happy?

- Can and can't!

- Oh, it's perfect.

The mother lode.

- But wait.

- What?

Can we monopolize this idea?

I mean, others can Jack it.

Then what?

We can't have competition.

O.M.G.

You mean other people could Jack

our idea and not pay us for it?

Yeah, there's thieves lurkin'

all over the Internet.

- Hate that! -We need a

monopoly and a copyright.

- We can get both, right?

- Yeah. Yeah!

Need it.

Need it a.S.A.P.!

- Now what?

- I'll do the thinkin',

and you...

You do the legwork.

- How?

- Idiot.

You can only

get a monopoly one way.

You search the Internet.

I mean, there is a process.

You both are idiots.

Everything's not

on the Internet.

It's not?

No.

In order to get a monopoly,

you need to go directly

to the government.

Now they control who gets a

monopoly and who doesn't.

- Okay. -You know, my

brother's a congressman.

I probably could get

an appointment with him.

I mean, god knows

he owes me a favor or nine.

Your twin brother brother?

- Yeah.

- How come I've never met him?

We haven't gotten along

in decades.

- Why is that?

- Well,

just a little sibling rivalry.

- About what?

- None of your business.

All right.

Now, he owes me,

and it's time to collect.

I thought you didn't drink.

Anything else?

Gum?

What is this?

An inquisition?

No, I was just, um...

Do you do selfies?

- Excuse me?

- Do you take selfies?

Idiot.

Everybody takes selfies.

Well, we're gonna have

a selfie contest,

and you can win a thousand

if you have the best selfie.

- How much?

- A thousand large.

- A thousand large?

- Mm-hmm.

A million dollars?

No. Not a million.

That would be ridiculous.

No, um, a thousand.

You mean one large.

Yeah.

Just one selfie, though?

No mas?

It's got to be sexy,

'cause I'm the judge.

Oh! Oh,

you're the judge?

Me.

Okay.

How do I win?

Well, I am partial

to selfies taken

from the... the front.

From the front.

You know, well, um...

The top front.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah.

Anything else?

No. I think that covers it.

Just go to

selfieshootout.Tv.

Hmm.

I'll think about it.

But it's not easy

to take a selfie, you know?

Is there anything yet?

Ah, it's the babe

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