Synopsis: Searching for family. In the early twenty-first century, zombies have taken over America. A shy and inexperienced college student in Texas has survived by following his 30 rules: such as "look in the back seat," "double-tap," "avoid public restrooms." He decides to travel to Ohio to see if his parents are alive. He gets a ride with a boisterous zombie-hating good-old boy headed for Florida, and soon they confront a young woman whose sister has been bitten by a zombie and wants to be put out of her misery. The sisters were headed to an LA amusement park they've heard is zombie free. Can the kid from Ohio get to his family? And what about rule thirty one?
Director(s): Ruben Fleischer
Production: Sony/Columbia Pictures
  9 wins & 28 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
88 min

You're a peppy little spit-f*ck,

aren't you?

You might wanna buckle up

for safety.

I can tell already

you are gonna get on my nerves.

Even though teaming up

wasn't my style...

...I figured I'd be safer

with Tallahassee.

You see, he was in

the ass-kicking business, and...

Business is good.

It became quickly apparent, however,

that he did have one weakness.

What are we doing here?

Well, take a look.

It's a goddamn Hostess truck.

Yeah, I see that, a Hostess truck.

So what?

I could use a Twinkie.

- You coming?

- Yes. Yeah. One second.

- Are you fucking with me?

- No.

You should actually limber up

as well.

Especially if we are going down

that hill.

It is very important.

I don't believe in it.

You ever see a lion limber up

before it takes down a gazelle?

- Sno Balls?

- Yeah.

Sno Balls?

Where's the fucking Twinkies?

I like Sno Balls.

I hate coconut.

Not the taste, consistency.


Oh, this Twinkie thing,

it ain't over yet.

Hey, this may be a bad time...

...but I gotta take the Browns

to the Super Bowl.

- Really?

- Really.

I know, again, so soon?

What can I say?

I have a case of chronic anxiety.

Truth is, I was always kind of phobic.

I found lots of things disturbing.

Like undertow

or department store Santas.

Being alone with a baby.

But the thing I fear more than anything,

yes, even more than zombies...

...fucking clowns.

When you're afraid of everything

that's out there...

...you quit going out there...

...which is what happened to me

before Zombieland.

Friday night,

third straight week indoors.

"World of Warcraft"...

...leaning tower of pizza boxes...

...Code Red Mountain Dew.

Pride, nowhere.

Dignity, long gone.

Virginity, totally justifiable

to speculate on.


My whole life, all I'd ever wanted

Rate this script:(5.00 / 1 vote)

Rhett Reese

Rhett Reese is an American film producer, television producer and screenwriter. As a screenwriter, his early credits included Clifford's Really Big Movie and Cruel Intentions 3. He has collaborated with Paul Wernick, writing the films Zombieland, G.I. Joe: Retaliation and Life, as well as Deadpool and its 2018 sequel Together they also created the reality series The Joe Schmo Show. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Zombieland" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 2 Apr. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/zombieland_24028>.

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