Whatever Works Page #2

She had varicose veins.

Still, the woman gave

birth to a brilliant mind.

I was considered for a

Nobel Prize in physics.

I didn't get it.

But, you know, it's all politics,

just like every other phony honor.

Incidentally, don't think I'm bitter

because of some personal setback.

By the standards of a mindless, barbaric

civilization, I've been pretty lucky.

I was married to a beautiful

woman, who had family money.

Foryears we lived on Beekman Place.

I taught at Columbia. String theory.

What's the matter, Boris?

I'm dying!

What is it?

I'm dying!

Should I call an ambulance?

No! No, not now! No, not

tonight! I mean, eventually!

- Boris, everybody dies.

- It's unacceptable!

Your panic attacks are getting

more frequent and more intense.

You have to go back on your medicine.

I'm not going back on

my goddamn medicine.

I won't have my mind

befuddled by chemicals

when I'm the only one who sees the

whole picture for exactly what it is.

Where's the goddamn vodka?

Boris, I have clients

to see tomorrow morning.

- It is 4:
00 a. m!

- Clients. Right. Wealthy bankers.

To design their chic apartment, to fill

it full of art and expensive possessions,

so they can flaunt their money

and be in the top 1% ofthis

shameful, violent, prejudiced,

illiterate, sexually repressed,

self-righteous nation!

Christ, it is 4:
00 a. m. Can you

spare me this sophomoric tirade!

I'm a man with a huge worldview.

I'm surrounded by microbes!

And what about me? Am I a microbe?

Is our son at Yale a microbe?

Let's face it, Jessica, okay?

Our marriage hasn't

been a garden of roses.

Botanically speaking, you're

more of a Venus flytrap.

You are a very difficult

man to live with.

- Is thatwhy you had an affeir?

- I didn't have an affeir.

Itwas a brief interlude of

infidelity, and it happened years ago.

You still can't forget it!

I see everything so

clearly now. Everything!

- I married you for all the wrong reasons.

- What's that supposed to mean?

You're brilliant. I

wanted someone to talk to.

You loved classical music, you

loved art, you loved literature.

You loved sex! You loved me!

Those sound like pretty

good reasons to me!

Yes! Exactly! That's the

problem! That's the problem!

Itwas rational, it made sense!

I don't knowwhatwentwrong.

When you examine it, there

is so much right about us.

On paperwe're ideal.

But life isn't on paper.

Boris? Boris, what are you doing?

Close the window!

Boris!

Can you believe I hit the

canopy? I hit the goddamn canopy.

Months in the hospital! Moron

doctors! Look. Look at this limp.

I never had a limp before.

Meanwhile, I divorced Jessica,

moved downtown and gave up.

I eke out a meager living teaching

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