W.C. Fields: 6 Short Films Page #3

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He's coming this way.

- Gives me the creeps. | - Me, too.

- Stop that, you! | Stop acting... Stand still.

Now, you stand clear and keep your eye | on the ball. Stand still.

Don't get moving 'round here | with those inhabited feet of yours.

As I was saying, it requires | a great deal of quiet nerve...

And slow...

Stand still and | keep your eye on the ball.

I'm sorry, dear. | Did I lose my temper, huh?

What is it? | Ohh!

Godfrey Daniel. | Tsk, tsk.

Wring your neck.

Aah.

Put your foot | on that, will you?

I wouldn't have you again | with me as a caddy...

for all the tea in China.

Tea or coffee or chop suey | or whatever it is they have there.

I said I'd like | to wring your neck.

Like to wash it first, | and then give it a good wring.

Give it a "wring" | they'd hear for...

miles.

Miles.

- Would you take that out, please? | - Oh, yes, of cour...

Thank you. Put it in there, | will you, girl? Thank you.

- This is really disgusting. | - Oh, it's terrible!

- I'm sorry that you had to see this. | - Oh, that's all right.

Now, stand clear | and keep your eye on the ball.

Stand still!

Ooh!

Keep your eye | on the ball.

Mm-hmm.

- Hello, Sheriff. | - How are you?

The sheriff is looking | for Mr. Bellwether.

Ohh.

- Well, where is he? | - He's out playing golf with your wife.

With my wife? | Come on! Holy smoke, let's get him.

- There it is. | - Huh?

- There! | - Where?

- On the end of your club. | - Oh...

- So it is, so it is! | - Oh, yes!

What an eye he has.

Now, you stand clear | and keep your eye on the ball.

Oh, I've forgotten something.

Huh? Oh.

Probably forgotten | her horse.

Well, I won't | need it anyway.

Won't need a horse. | Want to ride it...

I won't need it either!

Here's a club for you | for short holes.

Now, stand clear, | and keep your eye on the ball.

I lost a horse one time. I forgot him | and left him down the Grand Canyon.

Grand Canyon and...

That's a beautiful camel | you have with you.

Crazy about me.

Now, stand clear, boy, and keep... | Don't stand there.

Don't you know I'll smite you | on the sconce with this truncheon?

He's standing right... | and go, boom away!

Great, silly boy.

- I'll have to have it reblocked. | - Oh, that's a shame.

Yes.

Thanks! | Thanks for nothing!

You stand clear | and keep your eye on this ball.

As I was saying, this is | "hitting past the chin. "

- Mm-hmm. | - Stand clear, boy.

So it's you, is it?

I'd like to take | this club and...

- I'll tee that up, dear. | - All right.

Now, stand clear and | keep your eye on the ball.

Another thing I forgot | to tell you was...

keep the wrists | together.

- Never let the wrists separate. | Take the club back slow...

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