Vampires Suck Page #2

Alright class, turn to page 63 in your book.

[Vampire Diary]

This is biology. Why are we reading Vampire Diaries?

In the 80s, Coke's all the rage. In the 90s, grunge

Now is era of vampires. It's just super trendy!

That's uh, amazing.

Oh, Hi.

Why are'nt you wearing a shirt?

-I work part time at Abercrombie & Fish...

It's always the same with the questions,

Who are you? . Why are you doing this?

The carpet's dont match the drape, yeah...

That's hot.

I've got a serious case of the muchies,

I think you know what I need to eat.

Cheetos?

What about ...

- What?

The killing!

Oh, right! My wrong.

You know who we are dont you?

Yes! You look like B.E.P.

Oh, come on, not again? . Why does everyone always think

that we're the "Black Eyed Peas" . I mean her... I get it...

I get it...

She looks just like Fergie , . and he looks like Will.I.Am, but, Jesus christ!

They dont even have a white guy in their band.

He hit me! . - That's right.

Mixed martial arts, tae bo and yoga classes created this.

How do you like that, pink boy.

Help me, help me. - Coming elbow!

Son of a b*tch! . - I am not afraid of you!

You should be!

Damn that overlook! . I'm quite a teenager love!

I could not stop thinking about Edward Sullen.

No mortal could have the strength to do that,

or posses such amazing dexterity.

He can't be human.

Meanwhile out town Bolero . was getting cozy with Nate, who is secretly

having a crush with Serena.

I'm sorry, but you're interrupting my narration. .

- Oh Sh*t, wrong show.

XOXO, gossip girl.

I heard about the accident. . Are you okay?

I'm... fine.

- I brought you this.

[Please, be a mother of my childrens!

Thanks Jacob. You're so sweet and thoughtful

Any girl would be lucky to have you

It's not me of course. . You're like my little baby brother.

I heard you're hanging out with Edward Sullen. Stay away from him.

It's just something really wrong with that guy.

I better go.

Hey sweetheart, there you are.

There was a killing today . Fisherman Scully, near the docks.

blood is drained from his body and multiple bites wound on his neck.

You know what that means? The Cardashian's in town.

I want you to have this.

- Mace?

You're my little girl, and there's a killer onthe loose.

I'm not gonna leave until I know you can protect yourself.

Now, I'm gonna come at you. I want you to mace me.

!?

- Honey, I'm trained for this.

Ow god damn it. It's so painful, it burns!

I'm sorry, Dad. . - No no, I'm proud of you.

You all right? . - Mace will only temporarily

stop the attackers. You have to hit a man where he breathes, Becca.

You got quite a kick there. . Good for you!

But still I'm coming at you. Rip off the mustache.

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