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For Edward, I would stop at nothing.
What is he doing?
No, Jacob's the best!
[SPF 500 Sunscreen Lotion
[True Blood 40]
He's exposing himself!
Let me start from the beginning.
I used to live with my mom in Phoenix.
So I came here to the foggy town of Sporks, Washington.
Make that 3119.
Anyway, I came here to live with my dad, Frank.
He's the chief of police.
I havent seen you in a while, your hair is longer.
I err, I grow it out.
I mean look at the size of those tits
[Bite Me Mix, I Hate Life Mix]
[Loathe Ya Mix, Teen Angst Mix]
[Family Dentist. Brighter Bites. 1810]
Couldnt put my finger on it.
[Will work for blood]
I, I kept your room the same as since you left me.
- Remember your hamster, Herman?
Do you still play with your doll?
- Uh, I dont think so.
Who wants a batsy? Good girl~
Dad, I'm a teenager.
- Yeah. You're looking good.
You know what's below the waist? My penis.
- We're all glad you're here.
Careful there Bob, or I got to roll you down the hill.
Oh boy, I'm not scared. Bring it on.
Oh here we go. We're going somewhere.
-Err hi, I'm Jacob.
We err, we used to play together. Play doctor?
So, are we gonna be at the same school?
- Oh I go to school on reservation.
It would be nice to know 1 person.
Got your welcome home present. What do you think?
with that piece of shit truck
to make up for all the years in which
you have neglected me as a father...
Told you she'd like it.
-Go ahead, hop in.
Okay, see you got to pump the gas to start her up. Damn fleas!
Jacob, your.. foot ?
It's all this puberty, I've been feeling... different.
Excuse me, I gotta take a leak
[High School Sporksa, Home of the Bloodsuckers]
Give her a break, that's what i used to wear when i was still a virgin.
Where'd you get that haircut, Fantastic Lesbian?
Hey, new kid!
Hi, I'm Derek. . - Rebecca.
I'm the eyes and ears of this place. I can hook you up with whatever you need.
Er no, thanks.
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Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Vampires Suck" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 14 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/vampires_suck_22722>.