Uncommon Law Page #2

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Oh, a dragon, is it of

the red or blue flight?

Blue?

Oh, Balerion has

followed me from his lair.

Fear not, I shall vanquish the fiend!

Weep for me should I perish.

Are you okay?

I will never call you a nerd again.

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

Oh, no.

Okay Drunkles, I think you've had enough.

I can do it.

Present for you.

Don't drink.

You don't know what you're missing.

Well darn.

I was expecting her to say

something enlightening.

So, why don't you drink?

I don't do anything

that poisons my body.

Drugs, alcohol, tobacco, it's all garbage.

I can respect that.

Oh hey no, to each his own.

I'm not gonna judge ya for it.

See that's the thing a lot

of people don't understand.

It's not about telling people that...

[WAITRESS] Here's your burger.

Murderer!

You murder innocent animals you beast!

How do you sleep at night!

Sorry.

Sometimes I just lose it when I see

people eating the flesh

of living creatures.

Yeah, that's totally normal.

Well I think it's commendable

that you don't eat meat.

Yeah, I mean, I think if

more people thought like you,

the world would be a better place.

Absolutely.

- Meat is murder, right?

- Exactly.

If cannibalism is illegal,

why isn't a steak?

That is a totally reasonable comparison.

Don't you agree Melissa?

Yes, Brendan, completely reasonable.

It is such a relief to

find like-minded individuals.

What do you say we

teach the next carnivore

who comes in here a real lesson?

I can see how that is

in no way a bad idea.

What's up guys?

Cody, grab a seat man.

You are gonna love what

Melissa's date has to say.

Oh yeah sure thing,

I just stopped by to get

a bite before I went home.

Oh hey, can I get a burger, rare?

Just chop it off the cow and

throw it on the bun. (LAUGHS)

That's for all the bovine Americans

who can't protect themselves! (LAUGHS)

I'll call ya.

Hey!

I hate you guys.

[BRENDAN NARRATION]

Another date tonight.

As usual, I've got Melissa on standby.

I can't believe you two are

still pullin' this sh*t man.

What, it's flawless.

(LAUGHING)

Okay, mostly flawless.

You two been doin' this

sh*t since high school.

And?

And that was 10 years ago.

You ever thought

about just tellin' girls

that you don't want to date them?

It's what they always say to me.

Sure, but you'd be surprised

how often that doesn't work.

Dude, you're takin' this sh*t too far.

We're not taking it too far.

You go to each other's dates.

Do you know how weird that is?

Only first dates.

That doesn't make it any better.

The dating scene is miserable Zabrina,

I'll take any advantage I can get.

So right.

I went on a date with a guy last week,

and he left because he said I

talked about myself too much.

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