Trevor Noah: Afraid of the Dark Page #3

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who wanted their country back.

It never went anywhere.

But they still wanted it back.

I saw people on the news,

talking to the BBC.

"That's why I'm voting for Brexit, right?

Because this bloody country

is going to the dogs.

Right? This bloody country.

And I want Britain back.

That's why we voted for Brexit,

because we want Britain back!"

From who?

From who?

Britain is, like, 95% white.

Who do you want it back from?

People say the weirdest things,

the craziest things.

"These bloody immigrants come over here.

They're up to no good, right?

I hate these bloody immigrants. They need

to go back to where they came from."

-But why do you hate them so much?

-"I'll tell you why I hate them.

Because they're not even trying

to be British. That's why.

They don't even try to be British.

They come here.

They bring their own bloody culture.

They bring their own food,

spit their own bloody languages,

try to take over the whole bloody place."

That sounds British to me.

If there's one country...

if there's one nation in the world,

that has no right to complain

about immigration,

it's Great Britain.

If there's one nation in particular.

You do understand,

they created the problem

that they are now dealing with.

They went out and colonized the world.

At one point, half of the globe

was controlled by the British Empire.

Do you understand how insane that is?

They went around colonizing

from pillar to post.

People didn't care about them.

No one was trying to find the British.

The British were the ones

traveling the world,

telling everyone of their existence,

knocking on doors.

"Hey, we're the British. Follow us."

It's basically ancient Twitter,

that's what that was.

I'm not saying the British are bad people,

by the way.

I understand that colonization was

something that was popular at one time.

Many European countries

participated in it.

But the British were the best.

They were the best.

It's not because they were bad. I think--

I blame it on the weather.

That's what I think happened.

I think they have bad weather,

and bad weather makes you a bad person.

Yeah, because if you think about it,

there was no one from a tropical climate

who was trying to take over the world.

You don't ever hear stories

of Caribbean conquerors.

Yeah, there's no stories of, like,

Troy The Terrible from Trinidad.

You don't hear these stories.

There's no need for that.

When the weather is horrible,

you want to go somewhere else

and take it from somebody.

If you're living in a beautiful paradise,

you have no need to leave.

Could you imagine that scene?

Just some random handsome guys

hanging out on a beach in the Caribbean,

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