Tig Notaro Happy To Be Here Page #3

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She said, "No, I think it is."

And I said,

"You do your thing, I'll do mine."

And she said, "No, just please try it."

And so...

I did a show one night...

and I tried it.

It bombed.

I did it the night after,

it bombed again,

And then after that second show,

I was just like, "All right, that's it.

I'm doing this every night."

So she meows at me, she meows...

"Meow!"

Then I says to her, I says...

"Meow..."

We're going back and forth,

having the time of our lives...

and then Stephanie...

leans out of the kitchen and says...

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"What?"

"You don't know what you're saying to her.

It could be rude...

or inappropriate."

No, I think Fluff and I are clear

on the fact that you're out of your mind.

After a party,

we had some ribbons from some gifts

that were strewn about the house,

and Fluff really took to these.

And at bed time, time she would grab

about three ribbons in her mouth,

and she would drag them

down the long hall...

down the stairs...

down the other long hall,

and jump up on the bed and just be like,

"There you go.

Let's get some sleep now."

And we were like, "Thank you, Fluff...

We couldn't possibly get any sleep

without this pile of trash at our feet."

Some nights,

we would notice her little walnut brain...

realize she'd forgotten

what we called her "night-night ribbons."

And she'd be like, "Oh, hold on."

She'd jump off the bed,

run down the hall...

down the stairs...

down the hall,

get the night-night ribbons

and drag, I'm telling you...

We could hear them

being hauled down the...

It was so cute, but also sad

because she really believed

in her tiny little heart

that we needed those.

And she'd drag them down,

get on the stairs, down the hall,

jump up on the bed,

just like, "My apologies...

Good night.

There you go, there's the ribbons.

Sweet dreams."

[laughs] Whoo!

One night,

Stephanie was in the bathroom

brushing her tooth,

and I was--

You should see her, but...

I was standing leaning against our bed

and Stephanie was brushing her tooth,

and I, as I mentioned before,

very clearly that's what was happening,

and I was dangling,

Fluff was right here,

I was dangling her night-night ribbons,

just dangling them for her

and she was doing this...

Just dangling the ribbons...

It was like a religious experience.

Again, having the time of our lives.

And...

Stephanie comes out of the bathroom

and turns and just casually says,

"Careful of her neck.

You don't want to hang her."

"Oh, my gosh, 100% you're correct.

"There's no part of me that wants

to hang our precious kitten...

Fluff."

Anybody that walked into the room,

in their right mind, would've been like,

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