Tig Notaro Happy To Be Here

Synopsis: Comedian Tig Notaro performs a stand-up set at the historic Heights Theater in Houston.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Tig Notaro
Actors: Tig Notaro
Production: Netflix
TV-14
Year:
2018
58 min
6 Views

1

[rock music playing]

[audience cheering]

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-Hello, Houston!

-[cheering]

[imitates cheering]

Hello, spring.

[scattered cheering]

Wait, why'd you quiet down?

Oh, boy. I'm happy to be here.

I have not performed in Houston

in over a decade.

So thanks for showing up.

Unless I've forgotten and I was here...

then it's good to see you again

so soon after.

What a surprise.

I did a comedy special...

years ago, at a time when...

nobody knew who I was.

And they packed the venue,

put cameras on me

and then put that out on television.

And I was backstage,

and there's a guy doing warm-up

for my show.

We didn't meet in person.

The only think he knew about me

was that my name was Tig.

So he was out on stage,

just saying, you know,

"What's up? What's up?!"

Just really getting people ready

for my kind of comedy. And...

And he said,

"Are y'all ready for your comedian?"

And they said, "Yeah!"

[imitating crowd cheering]

Just whisper-screaming like crazy.

And he said, "All right, well,

this comedian coming to the stage,

"he's one of my best friends.

"We've traveled

all around the world together."

I turned to the producer backstage

and just said, "What is happening?"

And then she radioed the director

who came over...

the intercom of the entire theater

and said,

"Tig's a girl..."

Awesome.

Then he said, "I didn't know.

I didn't know."

So then it appeared

as though my...

very best friend...

had never even noticed

my sweet, sweet rack.

Boy, and I tell you we have missed...

that boat.

That poor guy will never see that.

For the majority of my adult life,

I have been mistaken for a man...

at least once a week.

It's more than that ,

but I don't want

to seem like I'm exaggerating.

But I also feel confident

that probably nobody here is like,

"Yeah, we're gonna need some examples."

And it doesn't bother me.

I feel comfortable with who I am,

I know who I am. I know what I am.

You can call me a choo-choo train.

Doesn't matter.

I know who I am.

Now, I can't believe it took me 46 years

to come up with this response.

And if this happens to you,

please feel free to use it.

Give me credit...

'cause it's good.

I went into a shop

and walked up to the counter,

and the man behind the cash register said,

"How can I help you, sir?"

And I said,

"Just the gum, ma'am."

And...

We were just in this lockdown moment...

of utter confusion.

Just like, "Yeah, I don't know

what I'm looking at either."

I don't know how he felt

about that exchange,

but I know for myself,

I did leprechaun kicks

the entire way home.

[sighs]

Before I started doing stand-up

professionally full-time ,

I did temp work.

And I had this one job

that went really, really well

and they highly recommended me

to another temp job.

And-- Listen, laugh all you want.

I'm not trying to be braggadocious.

I'm just presenting facts at this point.

Okay?

But...

I don't know if that's the best thing

to say in a special is,

"Oh, yeah... Laugh all you want."

[chuckles]

Then it's like, "Oh, I guess that's

all you wanted to laugh, all right."

But...

So it went really, really well.

They highly recommend me to the other one,

and I show up to that next job

just like, "Hey...

I'm Tig.

You've probably heard a lot about me."

And I was greeted

by the owner of the company,

immediately down to business,

"Bathroom's here.

Mail goes out every day at 4:00.

This is your desk."

And I was immediately realizing,

this was not gonna be a good time.

And that entire week...

-that I worked there--

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Tig Notaro

Mathilde "Tig" O'Callaghan Notaro (born March 24, 1971) is an American stand-up comic, writer, radio contributor, and actress. She is known for her deadpan comedy. Her acclaimed album Live was nominated in 2014 for the Grammy Award for Best Comedy Album at the 56th Annual Grammy Awards. The special Tig Notaro: Boyish Girl Interrupted was nominated in 2016 at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards for Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special. In 2017, the album of Boyish Girl Interrupted was nominated for the Grammy Award for Best Comedy Album at the 59th Annual Grammy Awards. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Tig Notaro Happy To Be Here" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 13 Nov. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/tig_notaro_happy_to_be_here_21897>.

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