The Wilde Wedding Page #3

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Harold, man. Oh.

(BRITISH ACCENT) Mum. Mummy.

Hey, hey, hey.

- ETHAN:
Here they come. Here they come.

- (HORN BEEPS)

JIMMY:
He's going around the wrong way.

(HORN BEEPS)

EVE:
Alright, everyone, behave, behave.

BOY:
Our new family.

MACKENZIE:
Four.

EVE:
Welcome! Welcome!

And there's number five.

Oh!

Right. This is my daughter, Clemmie.

Hello, Clemmie.

I've heard so much about you.

- My daughter, Rose.

- Rose, yes.

And this is Rose's friend

and almost third daughter.

- Hello.

- Saffron.

Saffron. Hi.

Come meet my family.

There's Jimmy, my oldest.

- Hey, Jimmy.

- James.

- And then Rory.

- Hi, Rory.

- Ethan.

- Ethan.

Back there with the camera

is Mackenzie,

whose mother is Priscilla

who was married to Rory.

Here's Sam.

You are doing...? Hi.

- My daughter, Mackenzie.

- Hi.

- Hi, Mackenzie.

- Hi.

EVE:
My nephew, Dylan.

My brother's son,

who sadly couldn't be here. And...

- You are who?

- Dylan.

- Dylan, hi.

- And Laurence, the father of my sons.

And husband number one.

What a great pleasure. I am a big fan.

The pleasure is all mine.

I'm a bigger fan.

EVE:
So you guys are in here.

Oh, thank you very much.

MACKENZIE:
According to Wikipedia,

"Harold Alcott writes novels about love

that are tragically comedic."

Which means he's gonna fit right in

with this family.

- HAROLD:
I missed you.

- EVE:
Well, that's your fault.

It's because you have

so many books to pack.

HAROLD:
Well, I'm a writer.

Just as long as you have that book

with the pictures that we like.

Oh.

The Pompeiian bathhouses.

Yeah, those saucy Romans.

I brought it in my hand luggage.

RORY:
Get off.

Stop it.

Oh.

(LAUGHS)

Did the cat get the cream?

- What cream?

- Silver fox.

Major hottie. For an old guy.

Oh, you know, hang on here, you guys.

You make me sound so... so superficial,

like it's all about

his, granted, good looks

and not about his big...

whoopee-doo-doo.

(LAUGHTER)

Do I really have to hear this?

Did I wanna hear about you and Priscilla

and the best sex of all time?

Hey, hey, hey. I never said that.

- Really?

- Really?

Do not repeat that to Mackenzie. Do not.

It wasn't the greatest sex of my life.

It was the greatest sex of his.

RORY:
Seriously?

Hello?

Hello? Hi, yes. I'm trying to track down

an employee of yours.

She drove the Montauk bus yesterday

that arrived at 11:45.

Actually, I say it arrived at 11:45,

but in point of fact

it was very, very late.

Why do I wish to contact her?

Is that any business of yours?

I mean, I could be an estate attorney.

MACKENZIE:

So what does marriage mean to you?

What's your experience with that?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Uh, well...

My... My parents fighting.

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