The New Guy Page #2

I've officially become the

biggest loser at my school.

I don't think I'll

be going back there.

Its okay.

I know what you mean.

I see that.

I was the b*tch at the last prison!

I remember, they strapped me

to a chair with duct tape...

...in a dress.

With makeup?

And fake rubber breasts.

Rubber breasts!

My brother...

...come on over here and sit down.

A high school...

...its a lot like prison.

Bad food, high fences.

The sex you want, you ain't getting.

The sex you getting...

...you don't want.

I seen terrible things.

Yesterday, an 80-year-old

librarian broke my penis.

You win.

How did you change things?

I got myself thrown out of the last

prison and I started fresh here.

That worked?

Watch this.

Wow!

Thats what I gotta do.

Switch prisons and start over.

You gotta tell me what you

did to get kicked out.

The first thing I did...

...is broke all the rules.

I can break all the rules.

Then I started acting crazy.

Yeah! I can act all crazy.

I grabbed a broken mop handle and

snapped it across the warden's butt.

I don't have to do this alone.

Les all get expelled together.

Thats okay. You can go.

What about you, Glen?

No, I talk big, but I'm

not as tough as I look.

Okay, here we go.

What are you thinking, Mr. Harrison?

You know, you're right.

What am I thinking?

Everybody, the answer

to number 23 is Guam.

Thanks, Broke-wood.

Mr. Luberoff?

Plenty more where this came

from at finals time.

My Lord, Dizzy! Cheating, bribery?

Those are grounds for expulsion!

Or an obvious cry for help.

Whats Broke-wood doing?

Thats Principal Zaylor!

You're a fighter!

Try this!

Sh*t it! Sh*t it!

Say mercy!

You're almost

at the head of the class!

And, cut!

This is the part of my job I hate.

Expelling people?

No, silly. We're going

to double your medication...

...increase your therapy,

and you may have to stay another year.

Loser, how's it hanging?

That toilet-cam

was your best work ever.

Looks like I'm stuck here

for the rest of my life.

Or am I?

Hey! Hey!

What are you doing?

Halt!

Did you just break that mop?

Give me that!

Yes!

You destroyed school property.

You're expelled.

Yes!

I did it. I busted out.

I knew you had it in you.

Ready to be Luthercized?

Preach, my brother!

I'm gonna take you

from b*tch to bull.

You wanna get a reputation

at your new school...

...you'll have to crack

open heads, day one.

Find the biggest, baddest cat

and whup his ass!

Make sure everybody sees him go down.

Everybody sees him go down. Got it.

You know, some people are born

with that knowledge.

Like Barclay.

Who's Barclay?

He's the bully at my last school.

He might be born with it but with

my insights, street smarts...

Rate this script:2.0 / 1 vote