The LEGO Batman Movie Page #2
Okay, listen up.
Go, go, go!
At this very moment,
an unnecessarily complicated bomb
is being attached
to the inside of the main energy core.
If the mayor isn't here in five minutes
to negotiate the city's surrender,
then I shall destroy Gotham City.
I did something!
Doctor, that sounds frightening
and overly complicated.
Talk us through it.
Well, I don't wanna scare
any small children who may be listening,
but it's a little-known fact
that Gotham City
is built on a bunch of flimsy plates
stuck together.
There's literally nothing beneath us,
except an infinite abyss
that smells like dirty underwear.
If Joker's bomb were to go off,
these plates would break apart,
into the eternal abyss forever.
And you wouldn't want that, now would you?
Now get me the mayor! Joker out!
Madam Mayor, I cannot ask you to do this!
- Jim, did you find Batman?
- No, ma'am.
Then we have no choice.
We have to surrender Gotham City.
Oh, no.
I'm sorry!
Flying the mayor package in right now.
SWAT team, get your stun guns ready!
- Non-lethal.
- Yeah!
Lowering mayor package through hole.
Madam Mayor!
Thanks for dropping by.
I've only got one thing
to say to you, Joker.
Well, you better make it fast.
Do you like to gamble?
Oh, I certainly do.
Do you ever play roulette?
On occasion.
Well, let me give you a word of advice.
I'm all ears.
When playing roulette...
Yes?
...always bet on black.
Batman?
What are you doing?
You're completely outnumbered here!
Are you nuts?
You wanna get nuts? Come on!
Let's get nuts!
'Cause I just wrote a song
about how I'm gonna kick all your butts!
Stop him before he starts singing!
Yeah!
In the darkest night
I make the bad guys fall
There's a million heroes
Computer, overcompensate.
But I'm the best of them all
I'm on my way, sir.
- Who has the coolest gadgets?
- Batman!
- Who has the tricked-out ride?
- Batman!
- Who does the sickest backflips?
- Batman!
Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Batman!
Yeah, hey, hey! Batman jam!
Da-Na, da-Na, da-Na, da-Na
Batman!
Thank you.
You haven't seen my brain
Ladies, it's okay if you stare
Why?
'Cause I'm a billionaire
Get it together, guys!
You're making me look bad
in front of Batman!
'Puter, where's the bomb?
The bomb is located
at the base of the energy core.
What the...
I get the last laugh, I get the final grin
Throw you into the asylum
With Harley Quinn
Turn Two-Face
To black-and-blue face
I 100% am not Bruce Wayne!
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"The LEGO Batman Movie" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_lego_batman_movie_20678>.
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