The Funhouse Massacre Page #2

There's all this spilled wine.

She comes over here,

grabs the scissors to defend herself,

tries to stab one of them,

the other grabs the bottle,

cracks her over the head.

She falls on the ground dazed.

She's climbing and clawing

her way to the bed.

They're walking over her, laughing.

They pin her down.

The one takes the wine bottle,

one, two, crack, glass everywhere.

She's screaming, "Oh! My head is bleeding!

You're killing me!"

She falls on one of the shards of glass.

It lodges in her neck, and when she rolls,

it slits her throat, and she bleeds out.

That's how she died.

Please dismount the dead body, deputy.

Oh, yeah, um... Just...

You just contaminated the entire crime scene.

Also, are you actually holding

the potential murder weapon

without gloves?

Guess who's our prime suspect

when we run that for prints, now.

- May I?

- Yeah. Yeah.

There was only one attacker.

He or she was already in the room.

There's no sign of struggle or

forced entry at the door.

Also, there's no sign of anything

missing, so it's clearly not a robbery.

Our victim comes in to enjoy a glass of wine

when the attacker jumps out of the bathroom,

where he or she has been hiding,

hence why the door is ajar.

The attacker grabs the bottle of wine,

hits our girl over the head.

You were right there.

Our victim is dazed, she puts up a fight,

and the attacker slits her throat.

Right in the aorta.

- Or jugular.

- Yeah. Yeah, jugular.

Uh...

Maybe it's a Halloween thing?

Maybe. Do you have a name?

Uh, no. Her ID was missing.

Did you check with the manager?

Yeah, yeah. He speaks a different

dialect than I'm used to,

but I'll give it another whirl.

I hate Halloween.

All right. Come on.

You're a grown up.

You've got this, Morgan. You're the man.

Start acting like one. Just ask her out.

Just ask her out.

It's no big deal. Huh? Right?

I mean if she says no...

You do work together. So it'll be

awkward every time you see her,

- but if she says yes...

- Yes! Yes!

If she says yes, then you date

for a while, and then she dumps you.

Stop, no. No, you're doing it again.

Don't stop! Don't stop!

Just, okay, look, you're a gentleman.

You're a gentleman. Go up to her.

- Just walk up and say...

- God, I love your tits!

Jesus, just walk up and say...

Lick them! Lick my tits! Lick my tits!

Really?

My God, okay.

Just walk up and say,

Laurie, I like you, and...

You make my dick so hard.

Okay. I can't do this.

Don't be jealous.

Storage closet? Really?

Yeah. Employees only, baby.

Your favorite customer awaits.

Yay.

You know, you're going to

have to give it up sometime.

Why not him?

I bet he'd be gentle.

Maybe even cuddle after.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes