The Battle of Shaker Heights Page #2

Uh, so far,

only two of you have signed up.

Well, anyway, let's, um,

move on to Gettysburg.

At Gettysburg,

the Union soldiers fought bravely on...

giving their lives so that we may enjoy

the freedoms that we have today.

Bullshit!

[Coughs]

- [Giggling]

- Do you have something to say,

Mr. Ernswiler?

Excuse me?

No.

Seems that you do.

Come on. Isn't your analysis

a tad simplistic?

I mean, maybe for

a second grade history class, fine.

But to characterize the Civil War

as a moral struggle, sir? That's a joke.

Ajoke?

Lance, you're not

helping things.

Dad... Mr. Norway.

- Well, we-we all have our own opinions.

- Opinions? Soldiers were drafted...

and the only ones

who didn't have to fight were the ones

that could pay their way out.

- Yes.

- Why don't you talk about

the Draft Riots?

Huh? Why don't you show slides

of the victims, tortured and murdered...

by the bloodthirsty mob

that was at those Draft Riots.

How can you teach something

that you don't know anything about?

Kelly, we have to stop

meeting like this.

I mean, it's not my fault

the teachers here suck.

Listen. I know that some of the teachers

around here can be pretty trying for you...

but you've got to learn to work

in the system, not against it.

- Why is that?

- Because growing up is

a hard enough process as it is.

Is that what your box

of tissues is for?

I see you're not going to college

next year. What are your plans?

How am I gonna

get through to you?

Advertising executives use status and sex

to appeal to my demographic.

[Bell Ringing]

- [Girls] Ready? Okay!

- Two, 23, hut hut!

- Hey, G.I. Jane. You disrespected my dad.

- Gimme a break.

- I think you need to apologize to him.

- To that chump? No way.

Why are you dicking with me,

you little dick? You wanna play, dick face?

Wait. You just used "dick" as a noun,

adjective and a verb.

- That's pretty impressive.

- Thank you.

Okay, let's see...

- what little Beetle Bailey

keeps in his knapsack...

- [Grunting]

that makes him

so intelligent.

- Yard sale! Crap.

- Stop!

Hey, Private.

Thanks for the hat.

- [Girls Cheering]

- [Boys Grunting]

- [Girls] Woo! Go!

- dd [Rock]

[Man]

Ready? Go! Go! Go!

- d Today is gonna be a beautiful day d

- [Engine Stalling]

No! Come on!

Hotsie, it's me. Please?

Don't do this to me!

d Now I know it's not

a usual thing d

d Don't dare waste your time d

- [Honking]

- [Shouting]

- [Tires Screeching]

- d Don't dare waste your time d

d No more runnin'

from the usual things d

- [Honking]

- Keep moving, a**hole.

There's nothing

to see here.

Nice one. They should transfer

you to the Signal Corps.

What happened?

Oh, man.

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