Ted 2
(3.71 / 7 votes)Oh, f*ck you, thunder
You can suck my dick
You can't get me, thunder
'Cause you're just
God's farts
Yeah!
I'm steppin' out
with my honey
Can't be bad to feel so good
Never felt quite so sunny
So I keep on knockin' wood
Yeah, steppin' out
with my baby
Can't go wrong
'cause I'm in right
Ask me when will the day be
The big day
may be tonight
This is the best day of my life!
I'm curing cancer.
I'm cooking your fucking steak.
What do you think I'm doing?
What do I think you do? You're bleeding
us dry is what I think you're doing.
Look at this.
$129 at Filene's Basement.
What are you buyin' over there, Tami?
Gold bars?
I need clothes for work.
All right, Teddy?
What do you mean?
You wear a smock.
You're a fucking cashier.
Yeah, so are you.
Yeah, exactly!
And I'm not going out
No, no, no, no, no!
You're just buying weed.
You're just buying drugs.
I was talking.
I was just talking, just now,
until you interrupted me.
I have to interrupt you or else
I never get to fucking say anything!
Are you gonna let me finish talking?
Are you gonna let me finish
talking? Are you gonna let me finish...
I am trying to climb
Nobody's in there
to look at your ass!
You're acting like an asshole!
What am I actin' like, Tami?
What am I actin' like?
Like an asshole!
You don't got to dress like
Elizabeth Taylor to put a yam in a plastic bag!
I am the face of the business,
okay?
The face of the business?
Jesus Christ!
Listen to you!
You're delusional!
I should've married Robert DiCicco.
I really should've.
Fine! Fine!
Go torture that asshole!
He treated me good.
And...
He had a dick!
He had an awesome dick!
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Ted 2" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 17 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/ted_2_19455>.
